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Mother-in-laws are a pain in the ass!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 December 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, *rs.Lonley writes:

Ok so I need to know if my mother-in-law is keeping my mail and not giving it to me. Is she that evil? Every time I get mail from my family, it always comes a little torn or I never get it. My grandfather sent me a letter a month ago and he asked if I got it and of course no I didn't. I don't know what is going on but this is too much.

Yes, I live with my husbands family and I hate it! My husband and I got married a year ago and well we didn't have the money to get a place so we decided to live with his family till we saved up. A year and 6 months later, we still have no place... My husband claims that we will start looking in February as soon as he finds out how much his raise is going to be and what kind of price we will be looking at for a home.

Well is it wrong of me to want to leave if he doesn't keep his promise that we will start looking for a house? I can't be here anymore. I hate living in this house. They don't really bother me but the fact that they do something with my mail is just plain wrong. My husband has asked his mom about it and she says she doesn't know where the letter is. He also told her to just leave our mail on the table so I can get it.

Why would she make my life hell if I'm her son's wife. Wouldn't she want me to be happy so I don't have to be depressed or angry all the time. When I have my daughter-In-Law I promise I will not make her feel like his mom makes me feel. I will treat her like my own daughter. I wouldn't want her to be unhappy, so that she can make my son happy.

His mom is always talking about negative things about guys. How guys treat their wives like crap. How her husband is a cheater. I don't need nor want to hear about this crap. It really irritates me.

So I guess I'm just venting and there really isn't an answer to my problem. I hope who ever reads this can just pray for me.

Thanks,

Mrs. Lonely

View related questions: depressed, money

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009):

I agree with Honeypie and CaringGuy, talk to your husband about finding a place for the two of you. Also on the mail front, I don't know how the post works in the US but can you get a mail box address where you can get your mail sent to, at least that way you will get your mail and it will be one less thing to worry about.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (2 December 2009):

Hi Mrs Lonely.

First of all, you're not alone. You're in the worst possible position here. The daugher in law-mother in law bond is always the most stressful, and for a mother in law and daugher in law to be living in the same house can really make the situation unbearable. You need to speak to your husband now, very quickly. He won't want to be in the middle of two feuding women, but you need to tell him that you have got to move out, as things are becoming more stressful for you. Find a small apartment to rent, anything that will get you both away. I think it's a case of mummy doesnt' want to let her son go, and is making your life hell because she sees you as a threat. If she's been treated badly in the past, she will be reluctant to let her son, the only one who hasn't hurt her, find happiness with someone else. But you do need to move out soon, before you end up arguing. I would also suggest you tell your own family not to send mail to the house, but to either use the phone or give it to you in person. Be strong and assertive for yourself. She's his mother, you're his wife. You should get priority, end of.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (2 December 2009):

Honeypie agony auntYou need to have a sit down with your husband. You need a plan of action and you two need to move out. Find a small apartment and get going. If you want to find the "perfect house" it might take a lot longer then you bargained for. Move out.

PS messing with other people's mail is just wrong.!

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