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Mom says he'll deceive me again, but I want to give him a second chance...

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2005) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 April 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

Me and this guy was going out, and I broke up with him cause I knew he was keeping something from me.

So after we broke it off we didn't talk for the longest time, then we saw each other in a store and we kinda locked eyes (it was really weird) so he called me that night and we talked as friends.

So after that we started talking again, as friends even though we both still really liked each other. Then we kinda told each other that we still wanted to be together and he said, that he needed to be honest with me first. So I was like 'ok what do you need to tell me?'

He said, "The first time we went out I didn't really like you, I just wanted a girlfriend and I didn't get to know you like I should of, that's why I was acting weird and told you that lie. But I'm really sorry and know that I got to actually really know you for who you are. I think you're a really awesome person, and I feel terribly bad for hurting you like that. And you're honestly the first girl I really truly like a lot, and can't stop thinking about. I just want to be with you, so will you give me a second chance?"

OK so that's what he said. And I really was shocked that he came out and told me the whole truth, and I really wanted to be with him. But I figured I would talk things over with my mom first and see what she thought. But my mom totally disagreed, she said, "Well I think that you need to start making wise choices and if he decieved you once he'll probably do it again, so you shouldn't be with him."

I tried to tell her that I really had strong feelings for him, and he deserves another chance but she still strongly disagrees. So I tried not to like him for a a while and take my mom's advice but I just can't forget about him, and we really want to be together.

No matter how hard I try to forget about him, he's always on my mind, and I know I'll never just forget it until I give it a 2nd chance. So what do you think I should do?

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A reader, x-clare-x +, writes (12 April 2005):

No matter what this guy ius saying it's pretty obvious that he was being a total idiot the first time around. What's to say he wouldn't do it again? What sort of person goes out with someone just because they want a boyfriend? Just tell him that when he has grown up then he can ask again. Until then don't touch him with a barge pole.

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A reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (12 April 2005):

Rebecca Batchelor agony auntYou sound as if you may be quite young and I think your mum is just trying to protect you from getting hurt. The guy you were seeing sounds as if he is young too but maturing. I think all that really happened before was a process of growing up, I don't think he set out to deceive you. I think he did well for being so honest with you. I believe he was just finding out what he wanted then and now he feels he wants you for certain.

However, you do need to protect yourself in case his intentions aren't honourable. Perhaps you could go out with him as friends for a while, spend a bit of time together and only take it a step further when you feel certain that he is genuine and that he wants to be with you because of who you are.

I hope this helps.

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