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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i really need your help :0( i live away from home at university, when i came home for easter, i think my mum read my diary-i left it under my pillow and it was moved when i came back.it makes me feel sick the thought that she has read it-it has lots of details of my sex life/how much my mum annoys me/things i shoulnt be doing/other very embaressing things that you just DONT want your mum to hear.im not sure if im being paranoid but she seemss really off with me!!!i dont know what to do :0( x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): I'd let it lie. Your mum was well out of order. Yes she gave you life, yes she raised you, but honey, you're entitled to get naked and lie back and think of England whenever, wherever, and with whom or whatever you please. And mum will come to grips with that in her own time. She read your diary because it's probably her way of letting you as a 'child' go. Like I said, it's out of order what she did, but she's the one who should feel humiliated, not you. You're 18 now, by the time you get to my age (I'm 35), the antics you wrote about in your diary will seem like child's play. By then you'll have had LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of sex and more than likely, pregnancies to show for it!! Let your mum 'move on' and 'delete' your detailed encounters. She'll get over it. And if I were you, I'd really, really try not to worry about it. Yesterday's gone. Look ahead.
A
female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (18 April 2007):
You need to talk to your mother.
It was unacceptable for her to read your diary - you should ask her whether she did read it, and if so, why did she read it? (maybe she feels excluded from your life now you have gone away to university - does she need some counselling?)
You are an adult, and you should be able to state that it is unacceptable and that it is not to happen again. Try to stay calm.
Then, explain that it was personal and that if you read something you're not supposed to, you may find things you don't like, which is what may have happened here.
If she is upset by anything you wrote, then you could invite her to discuss it with you - obviously she annoys you from time to time - everyone annoys everyone from time to time - but she doesn't have the background or the context, and if you want to have a good relationship with her, you can just assure her that you love her and there is nothing serious meant.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (18 April 2007):
 First of all, I don't know what your mother's idea of a diary is, but my grandmother gave me my first diary at the age of 10 and she explained to me that it's a person's personal thoughts and ideas that goes in there and that nobody else gets to read it.
Most people know not to open other people's diaries (not even your children's). It's like having somebody read your personal letters. Most likely your mom know that, and if she did look into your diary she disrespected you.
If I were you, I would just calmly state (as a fact, not as an accusation) that you had noticed your diary had been moved and ask if you're right to trust that she didn't read it. Here's your mother's possibility to owe up reading it, if she indeed did read it.
If your mom says she says she didn't read it, then I suggest you ignore her mood, because just as hanz1993 said, it might be just a thing and she's "off" about something else and it will pass in a few days.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): There is no way that she should have read it and I think she wants you to know she did too - by leaving it elsewhere. If I were you I would probably go and stay with a friend for a few days, wprobably without making a huge opint of it, so that I could have my own space. It must feel extremely intrusive to know that you own Mum could have invaded your very personal and private space. Then I would make a point of never bringing it home and I would also not talk to her about deeply personal issues to do with sex and relationships. Full grown-ups don't talk about their partners with their parents, they share things with their partner instead. This is part of the learning for you about needing to grow more towards adulthood and leaving certain thoughts to yourself. I would never put very private details in a diary anyway. What if you left it on the bus?!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Well it is tricky when sum 1 reads something u really don't want them 2 read!But she may of been worrying about u and thought there might of been sum fin private in ur diary that she needed 2 know.U may b over reacting a little cus there's still the possibility that she didn't read ur diary!Cus my mum often goes off wiv me sum days then a couple of days later she's bak 2 normal!Ur diary may have been moved cus ur mum cleaned ur room or washed ur bed sheets or sum fin like that!But if she did read it there is probably a good explanation!She was probably just worried about u!
Hope this helps!x
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