A
female
 ,
*strid
writes:How can I deal with the fact that my mum is depressed about my brother and sister behavior who only phone her to ask her for things or advice and the disappear for days or just worry about their lives, they are very nice and do not notice but she feels very sensible now an sometimes cries, she's an only child and hasn't lots of close friends but 1 or 2 she sees from time to time apart from that she is always with my dad who is a bit bad tempered sometimes but always willing to cooperate and help the family, I recommended her going to a spa alone for a weekend and disconnect or on holidays with my dad but she refuses, she is only quiet when working or knitting , cooking she expected to collaborate more and enjoy my brother's babyborn child but sister in love refuses and avoids contact do clear but for some time on Sundays though her mom's car is always parked in front of our house as we live near, I want mom to pass but looks an impossible task, dad does not help as he stands up for my brother's wife who is nice but not very sensible at this point, she refused to go to our grandfather's funeral and to family meetings, she also refused to get in for a family lunch when all us were supposed to be there that day arguing she had a to feed her fish, she also showed to be jealous of my little niece, my sister's daughter on many occasions and it's getting difficult to know why, my brother asked me to be his baby's godmother and I accepted he asked me to go with his wife to buy the baby a pair or earringas as my present as he wants us to socialize and I accepted sure but she went with her mum and bought them on her own, I'm trying to be nice but she is so careless or maybe even has bad intentions any ideas???any tips to help mum???
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female
reader, xkimx  +, writes (31 January 2007):
 this happens family problems all the time , just talk to her let her no you understand , and maybe buy her sum flowers to cheer her up or make dinner , treat her , she needs it !
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Why doesn't your mom suggest to her son that she would be available one night to watch his child. That way they can have some time alone together and your mom can have time with her grandchild. Your brother is married now and has his own life, if his wife can't get along with your mom or the rest of your family then that is HER problem and her loss, not yours or your families. As long as your brother keeps in touch with his mom and takes the baby round to visit her on occasions then I would be quite happy at that.
Your mom sounds like a lovely caring person. Maybe you and the rest of your family could get together and send her and your dad away somewhere for their anniversary, a weekend away perhaps. That would be a nice gesture. I'm sure your mom could do with some pampering for a change instead of looking after everyone else's needs.
Be there for her and be her friend. Always keep the lines of communication open with her and you'll find you'll have a strong bond with her as a friend as well as a mom.
Eve
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