A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I posted before regarding a now ex friend of mine and still current friend of my partners who had sent him love letters and was continuing to pursue my partner.I have now decided to move in with my partner, and asked him to tell her that I was moving into his home and request for the sake of our relationship she backed off a bit. My partner did this, and told me her response. She aparently found it very funny and made jokes about me, and said she wasnt going to pretend to be happy for him, and she was aware I was on the same parenting forum as her and was going to post suggesting that the baby she is carrying is actually my partners. I have removed myself from the said forum to prevent trouble, however I am still finding myself extremely annoyed with her behaviour however feel I cannot do anything as my partner specifically has asked me to 'let it go' and not contact her (which I havent since she sent him the letters in november 2009) however Im finding it extremely difficult to just let go as I am constantly angry that this girl appears to be mocking me and insulting me even tho I have actually done nothing to hurt her or offend her in any way. She was actually friends with me, close enough friends for me to confide in her regarding a miscarrige I had in april last year.I dont want to wreck my relationship by remaining wound up, but she is driving me insane and I wish she would leave both me and my partner alone, but she carries on.She has a boyfriend, a child and a child on the way and I am now feeling pushed into retalitation by informing her boyfriend of her contact with mine. However I know deep down this is petty and wrong. what should i do
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): Seems to me, this guy is keeping her contacts around as a "plan B" in case anything goes wrong with your relationship with him. What a jerk....I'd beat up a guy like that if I knew him!
A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (1 April 2010):
 I would postpone moving in with you boyfriend until you have had some straight answers regarding his refusal to remove this woman from his contacts. If she is on his msn, phone and facebook, im assuming thats so they can have contact. Why else would he be keeping her details?
The fact that shes chased him, written him love letters and is threatening to say her baby is his, would worry most sane men that really werent interested in her. But hes just asks you not to contact her and forget it. Theres something strange about it all.
You could involve her boyfriend and ask him if he can stop them having contact. But if the pair of them want to stay in touch, im not really sure what you or her partner can do about it really.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thanks for the replies. I cut all contact with her a long time ago, my boyfriend however still has her number on his phone, and still has her on his facebook when all this has gone on he simply has the attitude of 'ignore her and she will go away' fair enough, and a valid point but he wont actually go to the effort of completely getting rid of her (removing her from facebook/msn/ his phone) and i have asked him many times why he is still friends with her and he cannot give me an answer, this is the part of it that im finding so frustrating, and why I think I cannot let go of my anger, as im more angry with him than I am with her.
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A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (31 March 2010):
Your partner needs to stop being friends with this woman. He is the problem not her. He needs to tell her straight that hes not interested in her. And shes to leave you both alone or he will inform her partner of her behaviour. Im sure she would stop if he told her to. Speak to your partner and insist that he breaks all contact with her.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (31 March 2010):
Don't bother. She's not worth the time. Just cut all contact and leave her to it. It's clear she has issues, and if you get involved, you'll be the one who ends up getting into trouble, because that's usually the way it works. Leave her to it, and just enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend. If she continues to pursue and send letters, then keep them and get a restraining order.
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