A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have always had a very good sex life, we have always been experimental but have never tried a threesome or anything like that, though we have discussed them before.Tonight we were talking about things we'd like to try, both being open and honest, confessing to our dirtiest fantasies like we sometimes do as a way of keeping it fresh. Anyway, tonight he confessed to me that the idea of a male-male-female threesome turns him on more than the idea of being with two girls because he said he has always wanted to watch me have sex with another guy. He told me that as long as it was just sex, and he was in the room watching, he would be fine with it, though I did remind him that he may be surprised by his jealousy later on. He has never been a jealous man, ever, he is very free with me and lets me have my fantasy land without feeling threatened. In this way I know I am a lucky woman as I'm sure many men would not be comfortable with the idea of their girlfriends exploring their lust fully. I have never cheated on him, nor he on me. We have a very trusting and open relationship, though my sex drive tends to be higher than his.Anyway when he said this, I won't deny that I was excited at the idea. In 6 years he's the only man I have been with, and the idea of a new man, a new body, new lips to kiss, it sends tingles to my naughty places ... haha. But my real question is this; is this a common fantasy for men? I've always known about the fantasy of being with two girls, that makes sense, more hands, more lips, more boobs, etc. But to watch your girlfriend have sex with another man? Is that something I should be worried about? He said that he often fantasizes about it, finds it a very exciting thing, watching me get pleasure from another man. I'm not saying that we are going to try it, I have no intention of fulfilling this fantasy any time soon, maybe far into the future, or maybe it will always be a fantasy. I'd love to do it though, like any warm blooded human being I crave variety from time to time. But anyway, should this fantasy concern me? What does it mean? What is the appeal? I have a hard time imagining why it's so exciting- I'd expect feelings of jealousy, discomfort, but not arousal...? Men, explain please! Thank you. :)
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male
reader, cockainis +, writes (23 November 2008):
 I, too, have gone through an MMF with the woman I love, and I am straight.
Whatever the sane justifications we can whip up, it is in actuality beyond normal. But after everything, it never bothered me at all. We still have a very healthy sex life and we do not look for threesomes anymore.
Time passed and that second M returned me the favor by asking me to do his wife. And so we did it and he could not handle it. Perhaps it was my fault because he lost his "alpha male" status in the performance. His wife used to complain that after the threesome, he treated her like dirt.
I would bet that he is "offering" that to you because he wants an MFF too in the future. In my case, I was first to be granted an MFF then in "gratitude", we did an MMF.
So there you are - two scenarios. It all boils down to being able to handle it. It is a gamble because it may be taken against you in the future. Unless you are very confident with each other, it is not advisable.
Watching you is more on the edge than joining in to please you. I guess a lot of physical considerations should be taken. If the second M will have a more handsome physique and equipment than him, there is a bigger probability that he will ever feel inferior in the aftermath. Same with you, if you bring in a second F, the choice shouldn't be prettier and sexier than you because of the risk of you playing assistant. But if both of you can perform very very well, then the risk of things going wrong is lower because you can always butt in with your superb performance.
I don't know what is more stupid - bringing a third person in a valued relationship or slipping out to join two others (consequence wise, I think the second option is safer). Bottom line is that if you had done a threesome before, be contented with that singular experience of having been stupid in risking a relationship for a fantasy come true.
A
female
reader, anneon  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 Is it common? YES! Absolutely! Not necessarily a MMF threesome where the men have to touch one another (most straight men aren't comfortable with that) but a fantasy about watching their girlfriends sleep with someone else? It's a huge one, just search dearcupid a bit and you'll see. :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): Wow, no replies, I'm surprised.
Ok so as a man I understand the appeal, it's like watching live porn, and as a bonus, you love her so you want to see her happy and writhing around in pleasure. It's a view you cannot get if you're the one having sex with her. In addition, in a somewhat dysfunctional way, it's like we're showing off how hot our girlfriend is to another man. Like, yeah, he gets to fuck her now, but he'll never get to do it again because she is 'ours' if that makes sense? It's not quite as misogynistic as it sounds. And It doesn't make him gay or anything if thats what you were worried about. And yes, many, many men have this fantasy.
But I don't know if I'd recommend acting it out, because these sorts of fantasies are dangerous to act out, if he has even a slight amount of latent insecurity.
I'm 37 years old and I HAVE actually done this with an ex-wife after we'd been together 8 years or so. A couple years later we divorced... not because of it, mind you, but I did find that it sort of irked me when I thought about it later, though I never picked fights about it because it was my idea. Like you, she was very eager to do it. I guess most women would be eager to have sex with a different man after years of the same old thing though. It was overall a good experience but it's not for the faint of heart. And I never touched the guy, I just watched them have sex. It was pretty hot.
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