A
female
age
30-35,
*tefloz
writes:Dear Cupid,so, i have been friends with this guy for 5 years, over the years we have become closer. in the last year and a half we have been spending lots of time together as he broke up with his girlfriend so i was there for him over that time. we got so close that we were spending time together everyday, he would invite me to his house for dinner, ask me to the movies or just general hangouts. we started flirting however i thought it was just me that was having these feelings and i didnt want anything to ruin the friendship. then one night we all went out and when we got back to his house we kissed. he then told me he liked me and was wanting to break up with his girlfriend. a few days later i asked his where we were at.. he said he hadnt broken up with his girlfriend and that he was going to wait a while which i was happy about because i didnt want to be a homewrecker, so i urged him to kep trying. the next week he brke up with his girlfriend and invited me over to watch a movie, we almost kissed again but then i was a bit stand off-ish, we still continued to hang out and nothing was said about our relationship. a week later i told him i liked him and asked him what was happening, he told me that he liked me too but he wasnt able to commit, and he didnt want to have "just a casual fling" with me because he respected me too much. nothing has been said since then because i told him i was happy jsut to know where he was at. i still get mixed signals from him though, even though he says he likes other girls and he has been with other girls, he still gives me mixed signals, like he is very sweet and caring, we hang out alot and he is quite protective, can also tell he doesnt like when i talk about other guys or se other guys.... i think i still like him, but i dont want to bring it up again.....'what do i do??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): Is this guy older than you? Perhaps the age difference also makes him uncomfortable with dating you?He has ambivalent feelings for you that he doesn't want to take seriously...The answer is he doesn't know what you are to him. He clearly doesn't want to date you, yet he wants you around as an emotional crutch as he plays the field. Sounds like a tedious job.The best thing to do is decide yourself what you want to be to him and live according to your own plan. If I were you, I would make the decision to just maintain your friendship. Why? Because he already said he can't commit to you. What should you do about the mixed signals? Nothing. He is being selfish if he wants your support for his break ups and then doesn't want to hear about men in your life. If he doesn't want to hear about men from you, you don't have to tell him, but I would start dating just to keep yourself sane. This guy will drive you crazy if you let him. He's being selfish if he thinks he can keep you on the side forever.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): guys do that all the time they dont want a commited relationship but they ant to be in charge that is why the he was talking about girls and hated when you were talking about guys my advice for you is not to bring it up again and wait until he does and just ignore any signals he sends to unless he talks honestly about what he fee.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): Hey, its time to move on and consider other candidates to give that attention to. I know its tempting to ignore what you don't want to hear but you've pushed this relationship as far as its going to go. Keep pushing and he may just take advantage of how much you want him and eat a few free meals until he finds another girlfriend. Hanging around waiting for your chance with him will only make you look too available and he might see that as desperation.
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A
female
reader, Sabrena +, writes (17 February 2011):
Give him time and until then meet other people hang out with other friends let him hang and miss u
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