A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I want some advice as its a very sensitive issue. I recently had a affair with a married man which I posted about on here and after getting advice I ended the affair however I have since miscarried our baby and I just don't know if I should tell him or not I don't want to upset him but at the same time I don't know if a man would feel entitled to know
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 If you told him about the pregnancy, tell him about the abortion. Just let him know you miscarried (preferably in person) and leave.
I know you're feeling bad about this, but I would like to warn you that he just might want to get close to you again. We don't know if he's basically a good guy or not. If he's not, he might feel that "well, since "nothing" happened, can we, erm, see each other again?" Keep your distance from him.
Be strong.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (13 October 2011):
 Yikes! This was an affair, and it was a very healthy thing for you to end it with the guy. You miscarried, and I'm really sorry you had to go through this, but do not under any circumstances talk to him anymore. That would be unhealthy.
Unless, as it was pointed out, he knew you were pregnant. Then, a simple impersonal email to deliver the news is in order. No discussing, no bonding, no meeting, no talking it over. If you worked so hard to get out of this relationship, don't do anything that puts you back into it.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (13 October 2011):
 Condolences for your loss. I think it is instinctual to want to draw close to the Father at this time, but unless the baby's Father knew about your pregnancy in the first place, then I suggest you do not tell him.
Only because the circumstances of your affair. You let it go. It does not make sense to start up communication with him again.
Turn to your closest and most trusted friends while you grieve.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): I'm very sorry for you loss. :( Regardless of how your baby was formed, it was your baby and now your angel.
If you told him that you were pregnant, then yes. You need to inform him that there is no longer a child on the way. That communication should sever the last tie with him (don't let him suck you back in due to grieving.)
If you never told him you were pregnant, then do not tell him.
Most importantly, surround yourself with friends and family at this time. You need to heal from your loss, and that is the most importantly thing.
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A
female
reader, NennaHB  +, writes (13 October 2011):
 If you have ended the affair, good for you. I think, no matter how good a man he is, he would feel relieved deep down. Maybe it's better to keep this one for yourself and rely on your friends/family to help you get over the grief. I never went through something similar but I heard it's terrible so you will certainly need someone you trust close to you. I don't know if this married man can provide the support you need right now.
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A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (13 October 2011):
 Firstly I am so sorry to here you miscarried it's such a very difficult time for anyone, and I'm sure your emotions are all over the place right now.
So I suggest, talk to your girlfriends, mum, smaratians heal yourself and then make a decision but be sure you are not usingbit as a way to get this man back.
Married men, just break single girls hearts they really do - you need time to heal yourself, don't worry about him for now, just focus on you x
Sending a massive e-hug x
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