A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I met this guy on this online forum and he started talking to me first. He thought I was a guy and we were talking for a bit until he asked my number and texted me. It wasn't until he asked my name did he find out I was female. haha I just came across like another dude to him,and I was fine with that. Well, we texted a lot since then and I'm starting to really like him. I'm pretty sure he likes me too because he's always flirting with me and he complimented me tons when we exchanged pictures. He texts me like every day. He's passing through my town soon and wants to meet up and I said yes. Well, I have two questions: Do you think he likes texting me as much as I like texting him? I mean, he's the one to text me first most of the time and he does it like every day. Would it be annoying to him if I texted him first sometimes? We seem to not always have things to talk about but he always tries to keep the conversation going. Would you say he likes talking to me?Second question: When i meet up with him, I'm not sure how intimate I should get with him. I really really like him and I would like to maybe mess around a little (making out, etc)but not really more than that as it's my first time seeing him. Do you think he will be disappointed if I don't do more or will he be happy that I even wanna hook up with him? Do guys expect you to put out? He's 22 and I'm 20.I'm specifically asking a guy's opinion, but any input from girls is welcome as well!
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female
reader, Staceily +, writes (20 November 2012):
 Please listen to the other posters and be safe. I did a lot of dating online years ago and always made sure to give all the information I had on the guy to my mom. His phone number, email, pictures, name, etc. I NEVER met a guy from online at home, only in a public place. I also have texted license plate numbers to a friend once I met up with the guy, just in case. You can never be too safe. And remember you do NOT know him, texting and sending pictures are all well and good, you like him and that's great, but right now you do not know him yet.
Now for your questions- yes he enjoys talking with you. A guy who doesnt want to text won't text you, especially not first. He will make excuses like "I've been busy, sorry." or "I didn't see that you texted." This guy is clearly interested, he flirts and compliments you plenty. It would be fine for you to text him first.
For your second question- DO NOT have sex with him on the first meet up. If you feel comfortable to kiss then go ahead, but NO SEX. Does a guy expect sex when meeting? Not typically. If a guy actually likes you he wants more than sex so would not expect it on the first meet up. If he wants only sex and thinks you are easy then he will expect it. Do not come across as easy, a guy doesn't want that for a long term relationship. He will not be disappointed unless all he wanted from you was sex and a casual fling. He will respect you if you wait.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): why did he originally think you were a guy? Was he flirting with a "guy" only to find out you were a woman and then figure out either was fine. I'd be scared to meet a stranger. Make sure you meet in a public space and do not go anywhere alone and make sure you give his number to someone before meeting him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 November 2012):
 “Do you think he likes texting me as much as I like texting him?”
Umm yeah I do since he texts you pretty much every day…. Why would you think he would do something he doesn’t like doing?
“Would it be annoying to him if I texted him first sometimes?”
Not if you had something important to say…
“Would you say he likes talking to me?”
He likes TEXTING… talking means using your mouth… some folks don’t like talking they prefer texting.. my husband hates to text…. I think he likes being in contact with you…
“When i meet up with him, I'm not sure how intimate I should get with him”
Maybe a light hug and a light kiss… if you really like him and want to have a relationship with him do not be physical with him. IN fact, you should NOT be ALONE with him at all. MEET in a public place. DO NOT give him your home address or let him in your home.
DO NOT go to a hotel room with him and DO NOT get into a car with him.
MAKE sure he knows that your parents/friends know his name his phone number and where you are meeting him. (and make sure they do know this)
Women have been killed by trusting internet strangers (and he’s just that till you meet him)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 November 2012):
 Don't mess around with him. Take your time getting to know him face to face. I know many people think that texting is all that and a bag of chips but it's is NOTHING compared to good conversations where you can read their face, body language and so forth. Nothing.
Right now you are on a "infatuation high" - the attention and newness of this "relationship" is making you feel like you know and maybe even "love" this guy. Honey, you don't.
So meet him in a public place - make sure someone knows where you are and who you are with.
Make sure you have an exit strategy in case he turns out to be someone you really don't feel comfortable with. As in.. have a friend call or text you while you meet up with him.
Make the first meeting short. Now if you meet for coffee and really hit it off - go out to dinner but do NOT go home with him nor bring him home with you.
You safety should be your first priority, not your libido.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): Its possible he may be bisexual, and actually he thought he was asking for the number of a gay guy, but since he can swing both ways he thought, "What the hell, its female time again" lol.
On a serious note though, it sounds like he's interested in you in some way because if he wasn't, he wouldn't bother to text you. Something you should consider though, is what would you be expecting to come of this meeting? Are you looking for a relationship, or casual hook-up? You don't even know the actual reason he's interested in you, if he wants just sex, or something more. Maybe he simply wants to make friends (Unlikely I know, but I guess not impossible), and you're concerned about how intimate to be with him when you first meet up. I would suggest you don't worry about the intimacy part yet, just meet up first and get to know more about each other, see where it goes and take it from there.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (20 November 2012):
 Yes it sounds like he enjoys talking to you, he wouldnt bother texting you first and keeping the conversation going if he didnt enjoy it.
As for how intimate you should get, definitely no more than making out. If he expects more then he is a jerk that only wants one thing. A guy will judge a girl depending on how far she goes with him, if you did more than make out he will think you are easy and just a bit of fun, definitely not the kind of girl he'd take home to meet his mother! If you play a little bit hard to get, making him want more, he will respect you more for not being easy and it will also make him want to keep coming back for more. Guys dont want a cheap easy girl to be their girlfriend, so if they meet a girl who gives it up easily they wont say no (after all this is men we are talking about!) but they wont want her as a girlfriend either. He would have a bit of fun with you and then leave it there, never taking it further.
The golden rule with guys is make them wait, as long as possible! It will make them take you seriously, respect you and they will know that you are not a bit of cheap fun, that you are actually a nice girl who should be treated well.
If he pushes you for more, say no until he gets the picture. This meeting will give you a chance to check that he is a genuine guy and isnt after one thing - so if he is pushy and expects more then he simply is a jerk just looking for sex, and you are better off without him. But fingers crossed he is as nice as he sounds in real life and you have a lovely time.
Just remember to tell someone where you are going - meeting strangers off the internet can still be dangerous so tell a friend or family member where you are going and what time you should be home. Better to be safe than sorry!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): How did he come to think you were male?Look don't mess around, he'll only think your easy and that your like that with all guys, don't ruin your reputation over someone you do not know.Go see him, sure, hang out if he kisses you at the end of the date then sure that's ok but no further, you might not even be attracted to him in the flesh.. So be careful met somewhere public, make our own way there and home..Take care... Lots of idiot out there at the minute.
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