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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been chatting to a guy I met on an internet dating web site we decided to send photo's. when I did this he responded to me by sending this message:-'You look really nice, but unfortunately you also look remarkably similar to someone I know very, very well and that makes me uncomfortable. I know we all say that looks are not that important, but in this case, to me associations are. I'm really sorry, but for that reason alone, we shouldn't take this any further.' Could you give me your opinion on what you think to this response and what your view on it is?Thx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006): Definitely not your problem - he had a hard time recently, and he had the decency to be honest with you about it. The great thing about online dating sites is that there are so many profiles to choose from.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006): Some people are really sensitive to the way people can remind them of other people.
When I was at school, there was a girl, Bec, and apparently she looked identical to the daughter of our teacher, Mrs Murray. Which wouldn't be an issue but Mrs Murray's daughter had been killed in really tragic circumstances a few years before.
Whilst it was not widely known in the school, Bec eventually was quietly moved into another english class because Mrs Murray could not handle seeing someone who could have been her late daughter's twin sister.
Bec took it quite personally but it was nothing to do with her, it was the teacher's issue, not Bec's.
I think this is probably a similar thing. Some evil girl probably hurt him really bad and unfortunately, there may be something about your features which remind him of her.
That's an issue for him to sort through and better that you don't become involved if he's that hung up on an ex. It's his issue, not yours.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (8 January 2006):
His description of 'wants-in-a-woman' sub-consciouly matched those of the ex he hasnt gotten over. You matched that description and he suddenly realised that you would be exactly as the one he probably got dumped by.
Dont take the rejection personally. Its not you, its him. Move on and dont let this unsettle you as you will meet the right guy at the right time.
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A
female
reader, lizabeth +, writes (8 January 2006):
the guy sounds genuine. maybe hes recently broken up with someone and its still a sore subject for him. and if it is your looks (which I'm quite sure its not) he obviously isn't everything you hoped he would be. please don't let your confidence be brought down because of this, gain and learn from this. personally i think you looks brought up a blast from the past for him and he couldn't handle it. i don't think it was you at all. don't worry about it and find someone new but don't let your barriers down easy. hope ive helped xx
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