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female
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anonymous
writes: I was going out with this guy for 3 months. Before that we were best friends for a year and a half. It was a great relationship. My mom liked him, his mom liked me - that kind of thng.He moved out of my city for a project and we decided to continue. It became a long distance relationship. Everythng's fine for a few days, but then he started withdrawing and he met me and told me he couldn't continue anymore because he didn't see us having a future because of the number of fights we have and that he just loves me too much to continue, and to cause us heartbreak for both a few years down the line.I was moving on, ubt the project he had gone for didn't work out so most probably he's moved back. Most of the times he's in the same room as I am in the university and he keeps on staring at me. Although I want to move on he's not letting me.Why do you think he's doing this?
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female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (9 January 2006):
 The most obvious interpretation seems to be that he hasn't quite moved on and gotten over you, and that he is contemplating giving things a second try.
The project did not work out...could that have anything to do with you?
Long-distance relationships aren't easy, by any means. He probably felt overwhelmed and a little insecure about all of the effort required to make a long-distance relationship work, especially if he has not had any experience with such a relationship in the past. This is a possible explanation why he withdrew, said he did not see your relationship having a future, and broke the relationship off just days after it became long distance. But now that he's back, he's probably thinking about you and wondering whether it was the right decision to end things. Maybe he's thinking that things could work out now that he's local again. After all, things were pretty great before you made the switch to a long distance relationship. Couldn't they be great again?
You were best friends for a year and a half before you started dating. If all communication ended between you two when you broke up, then he lost not only his girlfriend, but also his best friend. This had to be difficult for him (as I'm sure it was for you), and it certainly makes moving on much harder. In fact, depending on how long it's been since you broke up, he might feel like he hasn't really moved on at all!
Based on what you've told me, I don't think that he's doing it to be malicious or jealous or anything of the sort. Most likely, he wants a second chance with you because he misses you and still loves you. If you feel the same way about him, then it might be worth giving the relationship a second shot, or at least being friends again. Just weigh the pros and cons and ask yourself if you see the relationship going anywhere. Is he moving again anytime soon, to your knowledge? If he isn't moving and you can at least ensure his proximity, then ask yourself if he would give up on the relationship as easily in the face of another challenge. Was it the distance that really got to him the first time, or did he have a point when he said that you guys fought too much, and that the relationship would ultimately leave you both heartbroken?
If you two do decide to get back together, then you need to have a nice, long talk first to make sure that you're both on the same page, and to avoid any additional unnecessary heartache!
If you are ready to move on, then you must do so and kindly explain to him that things just weren't meant to be; the relationship was nice while it lasted, but you feel it's time to move on.
Just follow your heart, and it will lead you to happiness. I'm sure that you will decide in favor of whatever is in your best interests.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006): I think that he is doing it because he still loves you, he probably broke up with you in the first place because he didnt think a long distance relationship would work out. Its possible that he thought ending it then would be easier than losing you because of the distance.
I think he wants you back hes staring at you from across the room because he doesnt know how to approach you.
I dont think you want to move on from him, you still like him too, the best thing to do if this is the case is to tell him how you feel and try to get back to where you were before he went away, it could work out for you all the best!!
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