A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm really worried about my sister. Shes been messed around by a couple of guys in the past and the guys that do have a relationship with her end up being not worth keeping on certain levels.The last two guys she really liked have been the worst, One guy spent months being genuine towards her and they really got on, I thought he was a catch too, but then when she finally slept with him, he left her and he stopped getting in touch with her. The latest one went out of his way to see her and was being what seemed genuine and lovely to her, she didn't sleep with him but he had slept over a few times and they did kiss. But when he went abroad it turns out his facebook hadn't logged out and chat was constantly going off and he was flirting with at least 3 different girls arranging to meet up on sexual terms. And obviously she stopped speaking to him.Shes 25 and has everything going for her, she's unbelievably stunning, she has a lot of money, down to earth, stylish and hilarious. She's only slept with 6 people and she's a genuinely nice person and doesn't deserve to be treated badly. It's happened a few times and her self esteem is damaged to the point shes giving up on guys and thinks there's something wrong with her. I think she's a catch and don't understand why guys think she's not worth keeping! I've suggested to her that maybe it's the vibes shes sending out.. any suggestions on why? or how it can be stopped?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 March 2012):
 She is attracted to a type of guys I think and since she keep sticking to that pattern she is going to keep getting the same kind of guy.
How is your/her relationship with your dad? I'm asking because little girls tend to look for guys who are either VERY alike the Dad or totally opposite and most it is not a conscious decision, but one we are "primed" with. The male role models in our lives can often shape the "type" of man we later fall for or avoid.
Maybe she needs to take a LOT longer getting to know these guys before sleeping with them as well.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 March 2012):
 I find it noble (and charming) that you are concerned about your Sister. HOWEVER, you cannot "live her life" for her.... AND, you cannot protect her from HERSELF (meaning, the life-choices that SHE makes).
Best you can do is be the best Brother that you can be... and be there for the goof-ups that you might predict that she is going to do in the future.... AND, offer her only SUBTLE hints as to what YOU think she does that makes her life topsy-turvy. (Any MORE "advice" is likely to be unwelcome and ignored, anyway.).
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 March 2012):
 Where exactly is she meeting these guys and in what state?
If you say "strangers at a club" or "whilst drunk" then you could be onto something with the whole "vibe" thing.
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