A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well my problem is the very first time i went on a date i was scared so i was very stand-off ish then i started getting attention from the wrong type of guys but i really liked the attention so i gave away my virginity to someone who was just looking for sex. because of that i guess i had a negative reputation that most guys like n i met this guy. we were together for a month or so but we were always fighting. it was never physical just he wanted me to himself 24/7 so i gave up friends n school n everything revolved around him. he was my first love but turned out to be a total jerk. after that anybody that showed a sign of niceness towards me was my new crush. so i ended up with a crazy person and someone who returned back to jail.now im simply looking for a guy with a car job money u know the good stuff but whos nice as well and my checklist has grown but all the ones i know just want sex but yet the response is always the sameas they all point out that im "creepy" or a "a stalker". this is because i once i receive positive words n nice things from a guy i get very attached n then i go nuts with texting. ive bought phones n texting devices just so i can reach a guy. ive not taken hints from guys to go away and contacted them with other forms of communication. but now its really starting to get to me because of my flaws they jus want sex n nothing more....i lost wight n look good these days but idk bc of my obsessive behaviors could that be y its never more?i really would like some help on how to not be so "crazy" what can i do bc i currently dont work or school so i tend to blow up everyones phones but apparently that seems to be the unanimous vote from guys to y im not gf material
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (2 March 2011):
 I'd suggest getting a job. It will make a huge difference to many things, including how you handle relationships.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 March 2011):
 Basically you're overwhelming people. What you describe would definitely be a turn off to the vast majority of men. It also makes you an easy target to get used.
I think you need to focus on yourself for a while. You're seeking validation of your worth through relationships, not within yourself. Because you feel like you're not worth it, you are going to excessive lengths to prove otherwise and it's backfiring on you.
Work on yourself. Build your self worth and self confidence, and I think you'll find your obsessive behaviors will decrease.
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