A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This may be extremely long, so i apologize in advance.I have a FWB, and he has been a close friend for about a year and a half, and has also been a FWB for that time as well, but before that I was friends with him anyway as we had the same classes in school.A year and a half ago he had a long term girlfriend of about a year. When I came into the picture in October 2009, he finished with his girlfriend and became very close to me, I had never had a boy act like that towards me before (a virgin, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend) and i developed feelings for him. but he never seemed to want to have a relationship with me, only fool around, and it made me upset. Then suddenly in December 2009 he kissed a girl in front of me, and that made me really upset! So I was very angry at him and stopped talking to him. he then started DATING the girl he kissed in front of me for about a month. It didn't last between them , and he went back out with the long-term ex of his for another 2 months. but in february when they were going out again, he "confessed" feelings to me. I WAS SO CONFUSED. He told me to wait until about May, as he was going on holiday with his ex and he needed to stay in a relationship with her until then as he had already paid! I felt confused but i believed him. we fooled around again until april he broke up with his girlfriend regardless. I was over the moon and thought he would ask me out. surprise- he didn't. he took my virginity prom night and didn't speak to me again. ignored me etc. and i was devastated as i really liked him.I ignored him until august 2010, when he apologized and hoped we could be friends, because we all were in the same groups of friends and it would be awkward as it would be impossible to ignore and avoid each other. I agreed to be his friend. but then we turned into FWB, and when he would date girls, we would stop, but he would come back to me after breaking up with them. we argued again in december 2010 over something stupid (he was VERY childish) and we didn't speak. but now it's february and he apologized AGAIN. so we're friends. and yet again FWB. I'm desperately in love with him, i have never had a boyfriend but i have only slept with him. he gets girlfriends all the time and i never do because I never get close to another boy. I know for a fact he does not share these feelings because I am best friends with his best friend, and i speak to him all the time about the guy im in love with and he says "i can assure you he doesnt feel the same" so what do i do? i have tried to stop having feelings for him, I KNOW hes using me. but yet i still let him. I do have respect for myself as i never mess around or do anything with ANY other boy. I just wish and pray he eventually has feelings for me. does anybody think he will? many other friends say that maybe he does love me, its just hes too afraid. but i doubt its true. I don't have many signs, just that we catch each others eyes every so often and i catch him looking at me. I also know he gets a tad jealous. i lied once to my friends and he was there "someone asked me out today" and his face went blank, he looked at me and went "... what?!?" i dont understand what it is about me that he doesn't like! He goes out with ugly girls with no personality (im not just biased, even his best friends say that) and i know i'm not unattractive in any way. im not being big headed but friends say i have an amazing funny personality. i just don't know what to do. i know for a fact I will never lose these feelings for him and i will do everything he asks. i just hope theres someone out there who can help me and if theres someone who is going through the same thing i am! I will forever love him with all my heart, and he doesn't know. he knew about my feelings a year ago but now he just thinks i dont care. he wants to meet up with this girl who is not pretty at all, and he has never even met her before, and it knocks back my confidence A LOT as he makes so much effort to get a certain girl to like him, when she isn't even worth it. i just pray in years to come he will see that i was always there. because i think i will wait for the rest of my life for him if i have to.
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best friend, broke up, confidence, his ex, jealous, never had a boyfriend, on holiday Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 March 2011):
 FWB + one sided love = heartbreak.
He is using you. For him it's not about love, it's a game. The chase, catch and release.
Let him go, honey, find a guy who wants you and no one else.
A
female
reader, lovelyeyes +, writes (1 March 2011):
This guy is looking for a girl he has to fight for or work hard to get, and your just to easy to get. Try playing hard to get let him fight for your attention even though its gonna kill u to be tough around him. But trust me it will work. Tell him the only way he could ever have u is if your his girlfriend if not u both need to move on. Then all he will be thinking about is u. Don't expect him to say yes right away cause he's not gonna think your seriouse so u need to prove u r.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): You are just setting yourself to be hurt by him over and over again. He IS using you and your good nature and the fact he knows you care for him. It gives him the power to treat you however he wants. He may not have feelings for you but he won't develop them while you are willingly giving yourself to him when he wants it. The only way forward is to stop sleeping with him. Be a friend but no 'benefits' - NONE. If he wants you, he dates you properly on a regular basis or no go. It will show you have respect for yourself and have dignity. Also you will give yourself a chance to meet other guys. Please, no matter how much it hurts, give up on him in a physical way. You are only getting the crumbs from his table. Friends only. It is the only way forward.
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