A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 and I never had a bf before or ever dated. Guys never approach me for dates and never even approach me even for sex (so I guess that makes me a virgin also). I am also never hit on by guys or had a guy say he wants my number. I am 5'4 and weigh 125 lbs, so I am in good shape. I don't really go to bars or clubs but I do go to grocery stores, coffee shops, restaurants, and malls. Once in a blue moon, a guy will check me out but it really doesn't happen that often. I keep asking myself what is wrong with me? Why am I doing so poorly in the dating and love world. I literally feel forever alone and that I won't find anyone. Can someone give me any advice? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2017): Bars and pubs are the usual places where men hit on unknown women. If you want to be hit on and feel good about yourself, wear a sexy dress and head to a bar.
If that doesn't appeal to you, you could always make male acquaintances through work, church, volunteering work... Whatever and become friendly with them. Judging by the description of yourself, I'm guessing you're not bad looking. One of these men are bound to hit on you, Or if you've got an eye on one of them you could flirt and give him hints. He will most likely pick up on it and follow through by asking you out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2017): Various women's rights groups have advocated against some alleged harassing or blatantly-flirtatious male-behavior. They have put men on the spot. Women answering many surveys have claimed they don't like being hit on.
Many women respond very negatively or ignore being hit-on.
Men may be becoming more aware of this and responding accordingly. It doesn't mean that you're not an attractive woman, I guess you demand respect by your very presence.
It really don't think it's you. You may live in a town were men respect women more, or guys are less obvious when they're checking you out. If your back is turned, or you're focused on something while busy shopping; guys could be checking you out and you're totally unaware.
Eyes may be upon you, but sometimes guys don't walk right-up to you and hit-on you. A guy never knows if some crazy boyfriend or jealous husband is standing nearby. It's just safer for everyone that a guy is careful about how he approaches a woman. Videos of crazy reactions by people are all over the internet; so that may also be a factor.
You are quite young and petite, and it is likely you may look much younger than you really are. Guys may also perceive you to be under-aged.
i think you're looking at this the wrong way. It's better for a guy to treat you respectfully and introduce himself in a more mature way. Sweetheart, it's only a matter of time.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (31 August 2017):
It doesn't mean anything. Hitting on women you don't know is becoming stigmatized, so many guys just resort to the internet to find women. If you signal your interest you should be able to change things around.
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A
male
reader, Phil052  +, writes (31 August 2017):
 My advice would be to join social clubs, societies etc where there will be single men and get to know them as people. I think there is far more chance of meeting someone that way compared to in a shopping mall or coffee shop. Online dating is also an option, though I understand it is not for everyone. You are still young so no need to worry just yet! I wish you well x
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A
female
reader, Miss.Cupid +, writes (31 August 2017):
 Theres absolutely nothing wrong with you. Once you hit 24 and have never had a bf then we'll talk lol. But on a serious note the reason why men don't approach you I think has to do more with society rather then you. I mean now a days everything is over the phone and social media. I feel like in a way guys just don't know how to approach a girl. The only place they can is after a few drinks at a bar when they have the courage to talk to you and don't care about possibly getting rejected. I'm not saying you should go to the clubs but what I am saying is have you thought about maybe you sparkling up a conversation? it is 2017 maybe low key hit on someone in person or direct message a guy you fancy online?
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 August 2017):
 Why are you waiting for men to approach you?
I'm not saying go up to all attractive men and ask them out, but if you "keep" to yourself you might seem unapproachable. Like, you really do NOT want to be approached.
So maybe what you NEED to try is to "help" a guy along a little.
Let's say you are at the grocery store and you notice an attractive guy checking you out... You then SMILE and perhaps say hi... That way you aren't HITTING on him but you ARE signaling that it's OK for him to approach you.
Or if you see a guy YOU fancy, just say hi and smile (if the situation makes that feasible).
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A
female
reader, blueskyday +, writes (31 August 2017):
Hi there,I think it largely depends on the vibe you put out. Regardless of the lack of male attention you are receiving, I think you're putting out the right vibe. Having men hit on you constantly isn't really something you want if you want to develop a real connection with a man. I think people really underestimate the skill of flirting. First, find a guy that you're actually interested in. Even if a guys just cute, smile at him. While you're out and about, flirt even. Strike up conversation to give yourself confidence. You'll be surprised the little amount of work you'll have to do. Truth is, getting constantly hit on guys, never being taken seriously isn't something you want. My guess is you're probably putting out a vibe that you're not looking. This will attract the right guy in good time who's willing to put in the work. If you don't want to wait. Do yourself up while you're out and flirt, you can flirt without speaking. Put yourself out there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2017): I can't give you advice, because I'm literally in the same position with the same attributes except I guess I weigh a little less. lol I just go to school and work and stay at home most of the time.While I can't really help you, I can tell you that you're not alone. All of my taken guy friends literally are confused why I haven't had a boyfriend and that no one asks me out. I don't have single guy friends. It just doesn't happen. It, in all honestly, may not be you. It just may be everyone else. I know that sounds stupid, but it could be true. If you ask out more people, they might say yes, but if you're like me, then you would rather have the guy do the asking. In that case, I really don't know how to help you. If I knew, I wouldn't be in the same situation. lolIt's not abnormal. I think as we get older we'll fair better, once we get to an age where guys look for more personality then *cough* other things...
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