A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Started dating this guy around the start of the month, he told me he broke up with his old gf last month. He mentioned her to me during our second date and said they were together for three years, I added him on FB last weekend and found out it was four, no big deal imo. He also trash talked her a bit to me (saying he got "tired of her" though they looked really loved up on his FB page) but I guess this is kind of normal?We're not official yet but anyway whats really bugging me is that his FB page is full of pics of his ex, nbd but also that I look almost EXACTLY like his ex. the only difference is hair colour/eye colour/skin colour bc she's half black but we have very similar eyes nose even face shape. We have different builds cos I play sports and shes a musician (he told me) but she looks more like me than my sister does Im not even kidding. Like, if I dyed my hair and put contact's in with more make up Id look like her.. Even my roommate said the same thing!I know guys have a "type" but us lookin so similar (apart from me being blonde and her brunette, different figure types) together with him going on about her on the second date and only broken up in July is worrying me.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (30 August 2017):
 Personally the fact he is trashing his ex would concern me much more than him having a "type" or the length of time they have been apart. My own experience of men who talk badly of their ex partners is that they will eventually blame everything bad in the relationship on YOU and trash YOU to the next girlfriend. Tread carefully.
A
female
reader, Teen anonymous +, writes (30 August 2017):
Dear, the ex girlfriend
Sorry to hear about this but it seems like to me that he is not over his ex girlfriend. You shouldn't have to change how you look either just because you resemble her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2017): Oh my! You should totally be utterly bugged and bothered! Me month on? After three years? No way. You are rebound girl OP... step right back unless you are happy with a quick fizzle here
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2017): Don't worry about looking like his ex, be concerned that he is already seeking a new relationship. It's way too soon!
Fatherly Advice is correct. This has rebound written all over it; and it takes time to get through post-breakup emotions and the detachment process.
You don't get-over a 3-year relationship in four months! You'd have to be one hard-hearted and cold-blooded individual. Yes people move on quickly, but it takes time for healing. His mean-speak of her says a lot. He's still full of emotions about and for her.
A man who trash-talks about his ex raises a red-flag. It has only been four months and his feelings are still raw.
I think you should postpone committing yourself to being his girlfriend. Fine if you wish to date exclusively; but becoming an official couple would be premature. Expect to hear her name a lot. His heart is still seeking closure.
You're focusing on the wrong thing. Pay more attention to his behavior and how he keeps bringing her up.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (30 August 2017):
 Way too soon. All the signs of a rebound relationship. Tread carefully here and don't expect it to last.
FA
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