A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello there, I would like to please hear from the guys out there on what your thoughts are about what I said to someone. I promise I won’t cry (too much) if you are harsh!There was a younger (single) colleague; he and I had what I could call a “Mutual Admiration Society”. Now, I am married and have children and I believe in fidelity and the sanctity of marriage. Maybe I’m going through a mid-life crisis or maybe it’s hormonal, but I developed a huge crush on this guy. I believe he also had a crush on me too. He was far too shy to ever say anything, but I could feel the intense chemistry we had, especially by the way he looked at me and when our eyes met, I know he must have felt it to. It was very nice to feel appreciated and I felt like; “Yes, even though I’m over 40, a handsome young guy thinks I’m still kind of cute!” It surely helped my self-esteem. Well, I was beginning to obsess a little over this guy and I knew that it wasn’t healthy for me to do so. So I decided to be completely honest and let him know of my feelings so I could get over this insanely crazy crush I had. You know, it’s like when you rip a Band-Aid off quickly so it won’t hurt as much; I knew it would be difficult, but hopefully I’d quit obsessing over him. This is what I said…” I have the biggest crush on you, but I’m married and nothing is going to happen, I had to get this off my chest so I can stop having this crush on you.” He only nodded his head in agreement but didn’t say much else. I believe he was a little stunned to hear me say what I said, but when we interacted professionally he acted like normal, like nothing ever happened, he also never brought it up at all. He soon received a great promotion and was transferred to another office in the region. I do miss having him around, he’s a very nice guy, and I hope he ends up with girl that appreciates him. I did see him a few months ago around town; he was a across the street and I was with my son, he smiled and waved a hello. Now for my question....So I really don’t know how he must’ve felt after hearing that I had a crush on him. If this were to happen to you, would you feel flattered, revolted, indifferent or maybe a little delighted that an older woman had an intense crush on you? Thanks so much for your feedback. I’ve often wondered what would be going through his mind and this site usually has some great answers to questions.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): 5F7A84F946
Many thanks for your responses; next time I run into him around town, I won’t feel too uncomfortable or self-conscious! You eased my agony.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): Flattered beyond belief. You did the right thing, and I'm sure that it not only made him feel good, but also gave him something good to consider about relationships in the workplace.Odds are good that he was able to process the information learn from it and that it will make him an even more thoughtful person.The fact that he waved hello is a great sign that he did- as it is a normal reaction between two casual freinds, and he neither shunned you or made more of seeing you.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (1 January 2010):
 I am sure he felt amused and flattered , it's hard to say as men tend to take things at face value and you stated to him you were saying it to 'get it off your chest' and that 'nothing was going to happen', who knows, maybe he was relieved as a lot of people absolutely will not get involved with married people...you said it yourself that you believe in fidelity and the sanctity of marriage. This view would indicate that you would turn away from temptation so why worry yourself with what this man thinks about what you said?...if you really believed in marriage you wouldn't give it a second thought.
Any kind of positive attention is flattering and sometimes when you've been in a long relationship, its nice to have an illicit distraction...it's exciting isn't it?
...but this man has moved on. Perhaps all this buzzing energy can be channelled into your marriage and make you apreciate what you have!!
with love
Aunty Em xxx
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