A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Do men who have affairs really enjoy having another woman or does it all become a bit of a chore keeping everything secret? Plus do these men just latch on to anyone who'll have them - or is there always an attraction there?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt is so sad if your wife is handicapped! - That is a whole new situation altogether!! - Hopefully things will work out fine and you won't need to cheat!
A
male
reader, calotto  +, writes (4 April 2010):
I havent cheated but I am tempted. I would only cheat with someone I am strongly attracted to and the reason I would consider cheating is my wife is handicapped and cannot be intimate with me anymore. I miss female intimacy.
I have huge guilt issues needless to say.
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A
female
reader, naughty girl +, writes (3 April 2010):
I think they want sexual variety. And I don't mean different positions. I mean blond then dark then latino then short then tall etc. They are bored of sleeping with same woman. Nothing bad about the woman and usally nothing woman can do. Best bet if you want a faithful relationship is to not have relationship with serial cheaters and players. There are many many decent men out there if this is all your getting then look within yourself to see why these men are atracted to you.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (2 April 2010):
 From experience I would say that men have affairs because they just want sex. Sometimes they don't even feel particular attraction to the woman - it is all about getting sex. Often they will use the phrase of feeling unwanted or unloved to assuage their guilt. A close friend of mine told me that if you have a lot of sex with your partner then basically you can behave terribly but they still won't stray. My husbands best friend has two wives and two mistresses and keeps them all juggled sharing his time equally. He doesn't find it a chore just exhausting and financially devastating but he enjoys the excitement and the constant sex.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Men and women have affairs for all sorts of reasons.
The chances are that one in every 2 marriages will experience an affair from either the wife or the husband (or possibly both).
Some of the reasons people have affairs:
1 - They feel unloved or unwanted.
2 - Sexual boredom or the complete lack of sex.
3 - One partner is not available to the other, as in one is out of the home for extended periods of time due to work or for some other reason.
4 - Health issues. Some men/women in a marriage are incapable of giving the other person sex.
5 - Lack of intimacy or trust or both.
The list could go on and on. Is it right to have an affair? Its not the best choice by a long-shot. Its your last choice quite frankly because affairs are just not meant to last.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 April 2010):
 oppps.. here's the link I promised...
http://www.dearcupid.org/category/cheating
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 April 2010):
Do WOMEN who have affairs really enjoy having another MAN or does it all become a bit of a chore keeping everything secret? Plus do these WOMEN just latch on to anyone who'll have them - or is there always an attraction there?
The clue is in my editing.. there is usually some physical attraction, but not always. Men and women have been known to cheat with people they don't like or people they don't fancy. This question is too general, there are a million and one reason why individual people find the need to cheat on their partner.
Sometimes they are lonely, sometimes they don't get enough/the right type of sex, sometimes they are bored, sometimes they are scared they are getting old and approaching death, sometimes they fall in love, sometimes they they want revenge for past hurts and insults. Sometimes the marriage is bad and they are trying to find a way out.
We can't tell you what ALL MEN OR WOMEN FEEL, each case is different, the people are different and the circumstances in each situation is very unique.
It's best to tell us what happened in your situation, then we can give relevant advice that's appropriate for you. Otherwise here is a link from Dear Cupids archive, over 11,000 questions about cheaters and cheating, read them and you'll see why every case is different.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 April 2010):
95% of men do it just for sex, so there is attraction. And as long as there is an attraction and they get what they want, I would suggest that it's not a chore.
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A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 I think the attraction is rarely about the other person, unless the guy's current relationship is truly, deeply troubled, and he actually sees a future with his mistress (which is not usually the case). If he did see a future, it wouldn't be an affair for long, he would break up with his wife and begin a life with his mistress. Habitual cheaters, who cheat regardless of how good/bad things are, are just attracted to the thrill of "other" women. The secrecy is part of the fun, I think. It can make men feel powerful to fool their partners in that way.
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