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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I split up at the beginning of the year, after three years of being together. Things had been difficult for a while - there were various things about our lives we were not happy with, and our relationship suffered as a result. I wanted to try harder to make things work, but he decided it was time to split. A short while afterwards I found out that he was seeing a girl he has been friends with for years and who he had had a brief fling with before we got together (she had ended the fling to go back to her then boyfriend). I had always had my suspicions about whether he was still attracted to her, but he always denied this saying that they were not right for each other.We haven't really kept in touch since we split up (despite him saying that he wanted to remain 'friends' - I was less keen on this idea). Recently I found out that he was moving in with his girlfriend. I (stupidly) emailed him to say I had heard and was happy for them, and he asked if I'd like to meet up. Against my better judgement, I agreed. After a nice meal and a couple of drinks, he told me that he regretted that we had split up, that he felt sad whenever he thought about it, had been a selfish idiot, and that he had never met anyone he had connected with the way he had connected with me (we do have an awful lot in common, so I can see where he is coming from). I said that he shouldn't feel sad about it, that although I'm single I'm happier than I've been in a long time, and that I think he did the right thing, that he and his new girlfriend are better suited than we were, and that everything has turned out for the best. However, in reality I agree with him that we had a special connection that it will be difficult for us to find with new people, and there's a part of me that would love to get back with him. Another part of me wonders if I could ever trust him, though. He walked me home and when he left he said that he had a really good time and would like to do it again if I wanted to. I just smiled and gave him a hug and left. Now I don't know what to do. I feel as though meeting with him again would be playing with fire, but I've found it so difficult to get over him, and I'm worried that if I just cut off all contact I'll regret what might have been. Am I just deluding myself?
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male
reader, jack23 +, writes (30 October 2006):
 I think you already know what everyone would suggest you do, and what you would most likly tell others to do, in that staying away would be the best form of action.
But you are the only one that can decided, like you say you dont what to have any regrets. How do you really feel, looking forward do you believe that you could trust him, is he going behind his girlfriends back now with you. Ultimately it is playing with fire, so tread carefully. Think bout how things could go, and which outcomes you would be happiest to deal with.
Good luck :)
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