A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Several months ago, I got really REALLY drunk at a party, unintentionally. Later, I remember ending up alone with this guy. He seemed ok and nice to talk to. I don't if he was drunk as well but eventually leaned in to kiss me and kept on at it. He also made comments about my physical appearance and said how he was suprised about my age (20) especially how there was a lot of older people at this party. He eventually asked for my number and got in touch asking if I wanted to get together with him sometime.Just to clarify, I do not do this sort of thing. I don't like to get this drunk where I lose it. I feel really guilty that I let this happen when I was drunk and that this was my fault.I started feeling upset and embarassed after I saw him again at another party not long ago. At the end before I left, he started to follow me around. I also felt angry when he offered me a drink and tried to avoid for the rest of the evening.I have also started to have bad dreams in where this guy is following me around, since this happened I deleted his number.I just want to forget about it and I appreciate any advice on how to make sure something like this doesn't happen again? And should I just ignore this guy in the future as he's friends with my friends?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Since he's friends with your friends, it'll be a lot less awkward if you just say something about it being a mistake or how silly it was for the two of you to drink too much and get out of hand - something to let him know it's not something you will repeat.
I did that once too, kissed a random guy when I drank too much. Never done it again though - when you're out or at a party, just remind yourself what can happen and how you don't want that and make sure you stop drinking completely as soon as you start feeling slightly tipsy. Or better still, limit yourself to 2 or 3 drinks in a night. I still let myself drink too much occasionally, but only in situations where I feel safe like when I'm with my boyfriend and a few close friends.
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 I am not sure if there is anything you can do on this one except let time take its course.
A lot of bad things happen because of alcohol (one of the reasons why I abstain) and this is just another example. You are lucky you weren't taken advantage of. So in that regard, this guy probably could have had his way with you, but he didn't. So in that regard, he was a class act.
However, if you have no interest in him, simply say, "You know, you are a nice guy and all but I just don't see anything happening between us." and stick to your guns. The sooner you tell him, the less likely he'll have invested any serious emotions into you.
You can be friendly and cordial next time you see him -- but my advice -- leave the booze alone.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Hi, the easy solution would be to not drink if you aren't able to handle it and the consequences. Find new ways to spend your free time with people who aren't partiers and branch out to include new friends. There are going to be loads more guys like him who will think nothing of hooking up for a night and plenty of girls who are willing.
Just stay away from it if you have no control...consider it a wake up call. Since you are not into casual encounters just ignore him and he'll get the hint you are not that kind of girl and most of all...no more drinking.
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