A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone i hope you can help,ive sat up all night waiting for my partner to come home or phone me,he stayed out again last night he came in from work late hed been for a drink and started shouting at me saying i was in a mood again, as i asked him to go to the shop on the way home from work instead he went to the pub. He's in the pub every night and when we go out on our own which is not very often its like he doesnt realy want to be there he hardly talks,he doesnt do any thing in the house apart from take me shopping or do the dishes on a sunday inwhich he lets me know again and again that hes doing me a favour,im getting myself depressed now through it. ive tryed talking to him but its like he couldnt care and every thing is a choire to him.ive got children to think about i told him to come back and stop runnin away as he was going but he still went,i cant go on like this anymore im going round in a circle,hes alrite till he gets his feet under the table again ?what do i do advice needed please!!!!!......
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): thanx for the advice anon and all u registerd agony aunts hes stil not home and stil neva phoned
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): Say bye bye assh*le. This guy is a selfish brat. Do you really need another child to look after? He acts like helping out around the house is a chore, and a big favor to you? My ex b.f. used to act like that as well. Now I have a real man that works to support me and our baby, and he helps out around the house with a smile on his face. That guy you're with is a total loser. Just like my ex...Get a new man.
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A
female
reader, sunrise +, writes (30 May 2007):
 I know the feeling, sitting up all night waiting for them to come home is no joke, your imagination runs riot, but with that and other aspects of your life together you should really consider ending this one-sided relationship. He obviously has no respect for you or your feelings, are you sure he's not looking for a way out, hoping you will finish it or is he enjoying acting like the big macho man at the pub with his mates every night, either way the whole thing is making you very unhappy and it doesn't seem like you get anything in return for your loyalty to the relationship.
For the sake of yourself and your childrens future happiness end this torture that you allow him to put you through, no one can treat you like this unless you allow them to, be strong and have respect for yourself, you are worth more than this, send him packing and get in touch with family and friends to help support you through this. I wish you lots of luck and happiness, you deserve both x
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (30 May 2007):
 Sounds to me he doesnt know what a relationship is all about. If you cant discuss this like two consenting adults or seek professional guidance then you are left with someone who is treating you like your worth nothing. That is no basis of any relationship and no-one deserves a life like that, especially when children are in the picture.
Your feelings and emotions will rub off on your child who will pick up on your unhappiness, and over time this will effect your life ina much bigger scale.
If he loves you, truthfully without question; he should at the very least listen to you and try to understand your concerns. Is there something which bothers him as to why he acts like this?
Do you want different things out of this relationship?
Be honest with him and yourself and then make the decision which makes YOU happy and ensures your child is brought up a in a stable environment.
R
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (30 May 2007):
 It doesn't sound like you and your partner are getting along at all...and I use the term 'partner' lightly since he doesn't seem to be doing much in the partnership. Basically relationships are about give and take on both sides and if you cannot restore the balance then there doesn't appear to be much hope. You have to examine your motivations for staying with this guy - is it because you have children with him? perhaps you fear being a single parent? It sounds like you are doing most of the running in the relationship and if he is unwilling to change then perhaps it is time to call it quits and cut your losses. After all, you appear to be very unhappy with the situation and perhaps you can rebuild your life without him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): hi thanxs for replying but he wouldnt go to relate or anything like that hes very stubborn and wont talk to anyone hes not that type he just gets his answers threw a bottle and i cant change that he done it in his first marrige and it looks like the bottles coming before this one aswell,ive tryed to talk to him but he just sits there and doesnt answer as if he doesnt want to be there!im tired of it all !i do love him,but i think im just banging my head against a brick wall. thanxs
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): Hi, it sounds like you are both having a really difficult time trying to get along with each other right now. Have either of you considered seeing a relationships counsellor? They can probably help you better communicate with each other and put your relationship back on track. Check out the relate.org.uk website or alternatively there may also be marriage guidance groups ran from your local church.
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