A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've just recently met a really nice guy but not sure whether I should get involved. He came out of a long term relationship just 3 months ago, things turned nasty with his ex, they have a small child together and he tells me he's not completely over her.I came out of a relationship just over a month ago. I found out my boyfriend at the time was still seeing his ex so I made him choose between her or me and he chose her. I guess I'm feeling a bit paranoid that this new guy may go back to his ex.Should I bail out of this relationship before it gets too intense or give it a go? I'm really scared of being hurt again.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (30 May 2007):
 You both seem a bit messed up about what has happened in the past (...and I don't mean that in a nasty way). It is normal to feel cautious about new relationships and there is the rebound danger here since you are both newly single. If you are looking for a bit of a fling then go ahead. If you think this is a longer term relationship then perhaps you both need to take a step back and start with the basics...friendship before the bedroom. If you both take things very slowly and learn about each other then you can be certain you are together for the right reasons and not just to repair mutually broken hearts.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): hi darling, first at least he has been honest with you in the fact he isnt over his ex. And you have reason to feel insecure that he may go back to her after your previous experience thats natural, He has a child so his ex will always be around he will want to see his little one. If you are getting on well at the moment i would keep it on a friendly level(not always easy) and who knows were it may lead you sound level headed, i do understand the not wanting to be hurt ive been there more than once, but i wouldnt give up on love and now im very happy i do hope this helps a little good luck and take care
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (30 May 2007):
 The best thing you can do is take it day by day and see how your relationship grows. It is difficult to forget previous partners, maybe even more so when children are concerned.
You are both in a period where you dont want to rush into anything if you want this to work. His and your feelings and emotions will be flucuating for a while, just use this time together to understand one another before jumping into anything to heavy and committed.
If it is meant to be things will develop the way you wish them to.
R
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