A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my bf have been together a long time, and he and I both feel we are ready to have sex. But.. Im scared it will hurt. I was just wondering.. is the pain realy bad?I have been horse riding for 13 years now and I heard that can break your hymen, so maybe it will hurt less? And what else should I expect?Me and my bf are totaly in love and feel this is right. Dont worry, we will use contraception and im not afraid to say no at the last minute. Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): Tall & Proud
Your thinking and ability to make decisions as a child is far different than when you are an adult. You may be 18 now and with the same guy, but you and him haven't really experienced the real world as adults yet. You're barely adults now. A years difference from age 17 to age 18 has not transformed you and made you into an experienced adult. Life experience comes with age. By the way 18 is most areas is the legal consenting age to engage in sexual activity. Before then, it's not worth having something tagged to you for the rest of your life as a sex offender. (if one of you is 18)
A
female
reader, Tall and proud +, writes (31 January 2008):
heya! the people saying that ur age is illegal to have sex, well yeah thats true in a way but its only an age, i was 14 when i had sex 4 the 1st time i am now almost 18 & still with the same guy who i had sex with the 1st time! been with him 4 3yrs now & he respects me! thats all you need, a nice guy who'll respect u which im sure urs does! just be sure that u are completely ready, just like i was... we took it carefully 1st time. but 1st the best thing 2 do is have a bit of foreplay! hehe kinda gets u in the mood i spose.
I dont regret it atall, & yeah i does sort of hurt the 1st time but only 4 a little while so dont worry, some women bleed like i did but never very much & u can get rid of it with a tissue without worrying that u will carry on bleeding, & trust me u dont bleed on ur bf's willy haha so nothing 2 worry bout there.
wb xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, dont worry we were always going to wait untill we both turned 16, dont worry! Thanks guys xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): You are not old enough to legal have sex. Don't do it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I have to say that it really depends on each person - one friend of mine bleed a few drops and the rest of my friends felt nothing uncomfrotable. I did however feel excruciating pain and we had to keep trying until it was finally alright (my guy was fantastic and totally understood which I am sure it was not that easy for him) - I rode horses as well so I'm not sure.
The point here is that sex will change everything and it will change your perspective about yourself - so make sure he is the right guy. He should understand you may or may not need to stop.
Remember if you guys are so close and love each other then you should be able to talk candidly with him about this stuff and you two should be able to wait a bit longer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I felt a 'pressure' and some soreness the first time but didn't bleed. One thing I would say is that I lost my virginity when I was 15 and now I'm 35 I regret doing so that young. It sounds old fashioned but just make sure you are mentally really ready for it - you shouldn't be too frightened so take it really slowly. Sex gets better over time and with knowing someone well so don't expect too much the first time. Take care of your body and use protection.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 You can ask your b/f to be gentle and tender and that if you find it uncomfortable , he should stop. You need to communicate to him or he would not know. Relax and enjoy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): Please don't take this the wrong way, but you are between 13-15 years old and you say you've been with this guy a long time. How long can you have possibly been in a relationship and make sound adult decisions if you're still in your early teens? Again, not here to judge, just urging you to think about this a little longer if possible. But enough lecturing. Intercourse involves the tearing of the hymen which will cause some pain and perhaps a little blood loss. Although you've been riding horses for so many years, you cannot guarantee the hymen was torn. So unless you've been checked out, expect that it's intact. Expect mild discomfort and soreness post intercourse. Furthermore, please be advised that proper condom use and birth control methods should be thought about and planned well in advance. Even those don't promise full protection against STDS and pregnancy. It's possible to contract an STD even with a condom. Please be careful. And think this through.
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A
male
reader, leonard j. Douglas  +, writes (31 January 2008):
Being a man leaves me out,but then there will be lots of women who are better able to answer your question. Do grow in your togetherness.
Love and XXXXXX's
From the Philippines.
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