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Me and my girlfriend are both 15 years old and we BOTH want to have sex. But how do we know if we're both ready?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 April 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 28 April 2010)
A male United States age 26-29, *hatFunnyCaringCuy writes:

I need help on a desicion.

Me and my girlfriend are both 15 years old and we have been together for about 3 months. But we've known each other for a little less then a year. I asked her just recently if she wanted to have sex with me over the summer in June or August. I asked her this now so she could have a long time to think about it. She said yes. We love each other VERY much. But now im having different thoughts on this. I dont want to get her pregnant because then I would not be able to support our kid, and let alone our house. I have a summer job mowing lawns and i make about $100 a day. Thats $10 for each lawn mowed. And that seems like enough, but I am also worried about school and stuff. But i think I am worring too much about getting her pregnant.

You are probably still wondering what my question is, and here it is: I want to have sex with my girlfriend because I want it to bring us even closer together.But how do I know that this is the right thing to do?

Please help me in ANY way you can!!!!

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A male reader, ThatFunnyCaringCuy United States +, writes (28 April 2010):

ThatFunnyCaringCuy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for everyone that had answered my question. You guys are all right in saying that I should wait. Me and my girlfriend both love eacother very much, and I think shes "the one". So why have sex now.

Thanks again everyone for your help. I will talk to my girlfriend about it. And I will keep everyone updated on the situation.

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A female reader, ChristineAvril United Kingdom +, writes (28 April 2010):

ChristineAvril agony auntYou are asking this question because you have doubts in your mind: therefore you aren't ready and shouldn't do it.

Wait.

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A female reader, Elainey Singapore +, writes (28 April 2010):

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months too! Recently, things are progressing a little physical for us but we have yet to think about sex. As my boyfriend and I have decided to wait for sex. We are both virgins.

Actually, there are a lot of things to do to bring a couple closer together. Such as petting and cuddling. Sex is a commitment that is too strong to be shouldered by a 15 year old.

So I suggest that perhaps you guys can go on a summer holiday together and enjoy doing things that couple do instead of sex. It is always worth a wait until marriage.

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A female reader, GoGreen126 United States +, writes (28 April 2010):

I'm 16, I've been with my bf over a year, and I know what you're going through. Quite honestly, sex cone to mind really early on in relationships, sometimes even before it's desired. By the time you're truly considering it, there are most often legitimate feelings backing it.

If I have learned ANYTHING in high school, I've learned that I'm not ready for sex. My bf and I have discussed it. We have a mutual agreement that we are not ready in our relationship, and neither of us is ready individually from an intellectual standpoint.

I have a purity pledge--I don't want to have sex before marriage (not to be confused with not wanting sex... That's not true... I have hormones and feelings like everyone else). My exbfs and my bf have all been very supportive of that, even if they didn't like it.

I was kidding around with one of my best friends, one of my exes, today, and I acted like I lost my virginity. I never said it, but I implied it. I don't know why, precisely, but he became very upset. He told me that it defies all I stand for, that I gave up on a goal, and I became one of "those girls" that makes the mistake of sex in high school. I never expected the joke to go that far, but it did.

I'm telling you about me because I've learned that high school sex, and I'm hoping you can learn from my experience, too. Sex enhances a relationship, but if you aren't careful, it can ruin that and so much more.

Sex can tear couples apart. Reputations can be lost, too. Sex throws variables into things that you don't want to deal with yet.

I have a lot more to say, but I think I covered it. Message me with questions,

--GG

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (28 April 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntHi,

Maybe this isn't the answer you want to hear but I'm telling you the truth for your own good.

I don't mean to be harsh, but no way should you be having sex! You sound like a nice kid and mature for your age, but no high school student should be having sex. You're not done growing and maturing, you're not even out of school. I know you're not a little kid anymore, but you should still enjoy your youth and save sex for later. I know you love your girlfriend, but you don't know for sure that you'll wind up together. Probably not... if you guys do wind up together, then great, but there may be someone else down the line that you love even more and you may wish that you had saved sex for that person. And, if you DO love her, then why rush things? If you're together when you're older, done with school and in a lucrative profession, you can always have sex then. There's no rush!

You're physically ready to have sex and you have the urge, but that certainly doesn't mean that you are at the point in life where having sex is a good idea, when you are prepared for the possible consequences or the responsibilities.

You shouldn't be having sex at all, at your age. I'm twice your age, and I have a college degree, and I'm a teacher and I'm not even ready to have a kid! The only living thing I'm responsible is my German Shepherd. The thought of a kid overwhems me!

The WORST possible thing to do is to have unprotected sex. It would be a wrong decision to have sex at your age, but having unprotected sex would be even worse. You shouldn't be having sex, but if you do, then learn about protection from a medical professional... not the streets, not the internet. You and your girlfriend, when you are ready to have sex, need to have a talk with a Dr. or a nurse about how to protect against pregnancy and STDs.

However, I reiterate that you shouldn't be having sex! NO method of birth control, save total abstinence, will protect 100% against pregnancies or STDs.

I know that there's a lot of pressure, because you're at that age where hormones are driving you nuts, but don't give in. Be strong and do the right thing! It wasn't all that long ago that I was a high school student and I understand how hard it is to be strong and deal with temptation and pressure. But I'm older and I'm glad I waited and didn't give in to it.

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A female reader, missSamanthamary Canada +, writes (28 April 2010):

by the sounds of ur panicing your not ready for it , if shes on birth control and u use a condom then u shouldnt worry so much about getting her pregnant. i personally think you should wait to have sex because u want to make sure its what you both really want and ur still young , im not gonna judge cause my first time i was ur age to, im still child free not prego what so ever and im still with the guy and have been for a year and a half , but you should make sure this girl is the one you want to lose ur virginity to , and if ur not sure if ur ready or not dont do it , cause u dont want to regret ur first time .also , it shouldnt be something u plan , your ussual ready when it just happens,

good luck !

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A male reader, mickey369 United States +, writes (28 April 2010):

I think that it would be best for you to just wait a bit longer. I mean you have your whole life ahead of you.you shouldn't even be thinking about that stuff at this age. that's what I think but hey all I have to say is good luck.

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