A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HiMyself and my boyfriend of six weeks are finding it difficult to tell each other how we feel about each other as we are both shy and this has led to us not starting a sexual relationship yet, who should make the first move to have sex, and as i am a virgin at 36 i dont wont my boyfriend to think that i am weird to be a virgin at this age, please help.
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (22 December 2007):
It is unusual to be a virgin at age 36, but not weird. It is important that your boyfriend is aware of this because he will probably assume otherwise. If I was him, I'd probably feel honored and very special to be your first!
If it is difficult to talk, try writing - perhaps a few words in a card - and leave it where he'll be sure to find it. Or, if you're brave enough, get copies of "Joy of Sex" and "More Joy of Sex" (In my opinion, the very best sex manuals ever written for "real" people). Then use sticky-notes to mark the pages that are especially applicable (like the article on "Virginity") and leave the book under his pillow.
(My wife & I used this technique to start intimate discussions the first few months of our marriage.)
A
female
reader, lookingatyou +, writes (16 December 2007):
my friend is a virgin at 29, and i know two other men who are virgins in their 30s so its not that uncommon. I really dont see it being a problem- its not been when my friends have told people theyre with, and see no reason why there would be, in fact were it to come down to it, i think a lot of guys would be flattered that you have waited for somebody special like them!
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (4 December 2007):
 If your are BOTH shy then it might be that your boyfriend is in fact still a virgin also. Has this been brought up at all? Whether you are or are not still a virgin shouldn't matter. As your relationship deepens then the intimacy will come naturally. Even people who have had sex before can still by shy so don't let the fact you're still a virgin have any bearing on this.
My advice is to continue to get to know one another and enjoy one another's company. The more you begin to trust one another then the subject of sex will enter into the conversation. You'll know when the time is right and it will happen naturally. Just make sure you're on some form of contraception and that he wears a condom when the time does come.
Don't worry about the fact you have never had sex before, in fact a lot of men find this endearing and makes them feel very special, especially if they have a lot of feelings for you.
Good luck in your relationship.
Eve
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