A
female
age
30-35,
*akel
writes:Hi. Im 20 years old and im in a relationship with a man who is alot older than me. He is 53. I know it sounds rediculous but we really love each other and we are in seperable. He recently asked me if I wanted to marry him. I really want to marry him and I told him that but im not sure how mine or his family are ging to react and what its goin to do to us. bu we really love each oher and dont wont to end it. PLEASE give me some advice on this, id appreciate it. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): Just a thought, no one ever says you have to get married to show your love just enjoy what you to have. If it's strong attraction it will survive with or without a marriage.
Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): Love means different things for different people just like some define God as such and bitch about others definition of God.
Whatever the reason two people connect regardless of age so be it as long as they are of legal age just ignore the envious and jealousy of others which are usually much older.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): I think there is something very sad about this much older lovers..Their failed life behinde them.They are like looking for their chances in you, what they missed, and letting you never know, how is real love is...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): Farm Girl, that was articulated very well and with much maturity and understanding of life I hope the young lady I find has the brains and heart you have '-)You go girl!
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female
reader, Farm Girl  +, writes (3 August 2009):
 I too am with a man who is much older. We are getting married this fall. Many people in society have a problem with relationships such as ours. If you think about it, it's very similar to how interracial relationships were looked at many years ago. In my opinion, those who criticize this sort of thing, have some sort of jealousy or envy. Or, it's they who have the perverted mind! Perhaps it's something that they themselves wanted to do, but allowed society to dictate their future!As for it being perverse, sure we have fun with it! No different than a woman who marries a cop, and he cuffs her, or maybe a girl is a nurse, and they play doctor,etc... What makes this sort of relationship more perverse than any other. What the heck?? If it adds spice, run with it! It's those with a closed mind that have a lousy sex life!Telling the family was a bit tough, but when my dad saw just how happy he makes me, and how good he is to me, things smoothed out rather quickly. They are now best of Buds!The bit about his health fading. We went through all of that also. But cancer and many other serious illnesses do not recognize age! Work injuries, auto accidents, whatever. It can happen to ANY of us at ANY time! If we let "what if's" run our lives, we'll waste our lives away worrying!Sex drive. It seems that many men in their 20's,30's,40's and 50's complain that their wives don't want sex. So, it sounds to me like that door goes both ways! Being that older men are attracted to younger women, I do my best to look good for him, and do my part to add excitement to our sex life. I don't know what he was like with anyone before me, but I have NO complaints!As far as having things in common, or growing apart. That can happen with a couple where both parties are the same age. Interests will change as we go through life. Speaking for myself, things I enjoyed at 19 to 22, I no longer find of interest. As far as being a couple, I don't see how an age gap would have any effect on this. The most important thing is communication and spending quality time together.What it all comes down to is what my best friend told me when I fell for my guy. "If you love him, go for it! If you walk away and don't give love a chance, you could find yourself to be a very lonely woman stuck in a relationship with someone that you really don't love, looking out the window, thinking of him and wondering,what if???"I know lots of people who are either married or in relationships where they never really were in love. If you ask them, they'll tell you. Their life sucks! As for me, I don't want to be one of those people. Do you?Good luck :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): K ,now I'm really excited, I want to know more about how to get a firm ass at 50, if you let me know, because mine is gone bad, yet, I still believe you need your brain, and heart, because you can get sick, and than you worth nothing? Just a worned out pair of ass? Yes for firm ass, but no, to base love only on body.. What if your sweetheart gets into a car accident, can't go to work out anymore,do you need to dump him or her? But seriously?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): Apparently you know little about working out the glutes. One doesn't have to workout all day..I powerlift and your properly confusing someone who bodybuilds.
I am purely for strength and with strength comes firmness and muscle.
Deadlifts, Squats, Good mornings, and for the ladies Lunges work the glutes and whole body very well 3 times a week for only 45 minutes add in diet and your on your way to firmness and to a nice pair of cheeks.
Nice ass by the way old lady '-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): LOL! You don't have to workout all day on your glutes to make them firm. Diet and weightbearing exercises like lunges and squats will do the trick and cardio 3 tiems a week make for some nice shapely glutes or in layman terms ass cheeks '-)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): I agree with you totally, love with no sex is no good but I'm just saying, the ''the firm ass'' is not the only way to have love, as most people don't have very firm ass after 40, or only if they work on it all day, what is also not very sexy. Because ,if you focus only on your ass, your brain shrinks,and sooner ,or later you will need it, trust me.
I think sadly ,an older man will get much older beside any 20 years old, and than it will be a sad site. She will have to be a nurse instead of a mother., I just think, you can't stop ageing, or cheat it...
To me max age difference is 10 years, but I saw some of my woman friends who maried a 10 years younger guy, now in their 50-s they are getting a bit vulnarable.
Again, this is only my way of look at it. And I'm sure that is not the only one way.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): Sure I will agree love and sex are two different things but without sex your love is useless as it will fall by the wayside and will grow as cold as a winters night.
No relationship is worth having without good sex regardless of age.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): Well, sex is different ,than love. I mean, the nice firm ass of a 19 year old is not really talks about love. So older man wants young woman to extend their youth. Kind of sad ,because its fake, and takes away the chance from a young woman to experience real love. I don't believe in big age difference, because it will catch up. I think It turnes really ugly, even when 20 years older woman having sex with their son's friend. I think it is pittyful ,not a winning number. Sorry.
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male
reader, Youngerthebetter +, writes (2 August 2009):
I find if a man is older with kids the same age as his effection then yes I would find that a bit perverted but being I am 50 without kids and never married I see it differently.
Hunk Hogan is what 54 and seeing a 19 year old that looks alot like his own daughter Brook. That to me is a bit sick and his soon to be ex-wife is seeing a 19 year old guy and to me that is even sick simply because they are seeing and having sex with them in the same age bracket as there own kids how freakin' perverted can you get?
If they both didn't have kids it's different in my opinion and isn't perverted.
My attraction to younger ladies is there energy and level of adventure you don't get from women in my age group and without the baggage. I don't mind telling a nice firm fit young lady when she ask does my butt look good in these jeans? '-)
Also if a man takes good care of his body his testostrone and sex drive will remain at levels from when he was in his teens. I keep my up by lifting weights Deadlifts for the whole body Bench for chest and Squats for tight glutes.
50 isn't what it was in the 60's it's a whole new ballgame but if a man doesn't take care of his body and this is true at any age your testostrone will drop and sex will become boring.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): I wonder ,what happens to a 50 something man" sex drive?Can they still do it long enough?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): I'm sorry ,but I think it is not good. I can't imagine
an old man like that touching a young girl, there is something perverted about this,
like a father and daughter thing. well I;m young and I wouldn't want an old man's body, but it is just me..
Maybe if its not sexual.Maybe you are missing a dad? But don't forget, he is winning a 20 year old,not you are winning a 53 year old. Seems trouble to me, but clearly ,its not judgement,just my own idea. Good luck ,what ever you do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): Hi,
Im 22 and my partner is 56. A 34 year age gap. Things can be difficult, but you need to talk about everything that you want in life and what he wants. If you both want different things then it wont work.
Luckily my partner wants the same as me. You can only give it a go, I used to worry about me being left on my own once he passes on, but the thing is, none of us can tell what tomorrow will bring, let alone what is going to happen in several years time.
We have now been together for 6 years, and yes we will be getting married and having children. Families are difficult, but in my experience, if you both sit down with your respective families, and explain it to them, and that you have both thought about it seriously, then I dont think they will have a problem.
At the end of the day, all the should want is for to be happy.
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male
reader, Youngerthebetter +, writes (1 August 2009):
I am curious in how you met him being he is 53. I am 50 and always wondered how to know when someone younger is interested in a relationship sexual or to the point marriage as I am attracted to younger ladies.Anyway, I hope it works out for you if you really into him then don't let anything stop you two.. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): The only thing I could think that would cause a problem, is, if you want children and he doesn't, or vice versa. But I'm going to assume you've talked about this, as marriage is a big step!.
Apart from the reason I said above I don't see anything wrong with it as you're both adults. You should announce it proudly, not nervously to see their reaction. If he makes you happy, then they need to accept him, and vice versa for his family. They might be shocked at first, but may come round to it. Whatever their reaction, you should do what you and him will make you happy in the long run, with or without their acceptance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): Follow your heart, and be true to thine ownself. I was in love with someone who was sixty, but he was fifty eight two years ago, and I was 20.
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