A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a man older than me by 25yearrs for about 3years.I'm 21years old now.Now that he and his wife are nolonger together,I am sceptical that our marriage(he proposed) will work.Am I being unfair on us?I do love him but looking at the circumstances we met,will I be doing the right thing? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): If he cheated on her, he'll cheat on you. Harsh but true. If you do marry him, prepare yourself for the inevitable day when he leaves you too for a younger and stupider model, just like he did to his first wife.
A
female
reader, Red591  +, writes (6 February 2011):
 U loose them like u get them. U are way too young and when reality sets into ur relationship, it will most likely not survive. Not to mention that neither of you are real high in moral character since u both disrespected marriage vows. Why would he end up being faithful to you. There is always another stupid young girl waiting to take ur husband. U will end up like his other wife and honestly it's what u deserve. I would look at my soul and do some revamping if I were u. He is not loyal and u don't have respect for a marriage which spells disaster for a future. Get out now and be a better person. Karma waits and it strikes hard. I would avoid it if I were u.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): It would probably work if he is rich beyond your wildest dreams, because you'd take the smooth with the rough, but a 25-year age gap is considerable.
If I were you I'd try living with him for a while first, but don't give up your own accommodation arrangements for some time yet - you might need the security of your own place if and when it all goes pear-shaped.
Seeing someone 'on the side' is a whole lot different to living with them full time, and as for marriage, just bear in mind that divorce causes a whole load of heartache and costs a fortune; the only ones to benefit will be the lawyers.
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A
female
reader, Shelley Harris  +, writes (6 February 2011):
 I have been in your shoes, It's hard at 21 to comprehend what life will bring in my experience. The relationship we be great for a few years and then fizzle out. When you have an affair with someone the only thing you have in common is deceit and the fact that you were both untrustworthy will lay heavily on your marriage it is not a good starting point really, you always wonder if he will do it again and he wondered the same about me. I found that when he got even older, he didn't want to do the fun things and became boring, whereas I was still young. I think you would be better off finding someone nearer your age, I know that might be hard but in the long run will save you a lot of HEARTACHE.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): I think you have a few problems as to if the will work, 25 years is a huge age gap, plus you are worrying because he cheated on his wife, will he cheat on you, and he knows that you are capable of having an affair, also you are already not sure that you will work so all in all it's not looking good.
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