A
male
age
36-40,
*oocruzz
writes:I've been married to a woman who I love very much for 4 years now and have been with her for almost 7 years. Before we hooked up, I was in two consecutive homosexual relationships. She knew and even supported me at that time, and we were good friends. I thought I was bisexual, but as the years passed, I've realized I'm significantly more attracted to men than women. I don't even like female genitalia. My wife knows this, and knows where I stand. She wants me to just get over it and stay with her. The pressure is terrible, I need to get out but I feel completely trapped. No kids, but we own a condo together. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): at least now you wife can get on with her own life, she can heal slowly and mend her broken heart and move on. good thing no kids involved.
-LoveGirl
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this. Secondly - get out of the marriage as soon as you can. You will eventually get out anyway, and you know this to be true. Don't postpone and worsen the pain for you and your wife. I am a woman, and I was married to a man, once upon a time, knowing in my heart I was more attracted to women. Similarly, I tried to convince myself that I could deal, that I was bisexual, etc. Not true. I found myself not able to be a full partner to my husband, and ended up having an affair with a woman. We divorced and I went through several years of guilt, fear, etc. The happy news is that now I am very happily married to a woman, and we have a child together.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 September 2010):
 See there's a possibility you two could end up as friends.
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A
male
reader, zoocruzz +, writes (14 September 2010):
zoocruzz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionupdate: we are getting along better now, and moving forward. I will be moving into my own place in a few days. We will be starting the divorce procedure next month.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 August 2010):
Excellent, once u move out and get ur life started then u can work on the friendship, possibly even besties! For now, its best to coexist with one another as peacefully as possible and understand now u are just roommates..I hope all goes well!
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A
male
reader, zoocruzz +, writes (21 August 2010):
zoocruzz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionupdate: we are still living together, we need to get financial stuff sorted out...I moved into our guest room, but it still feels the same. We have both come to terms with our situation, just stuck here for now :(
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): Thanks! That gives me a little more insight and I'm still working out the kinks, its gonna take a looonnnng time. My wife realizes I have found my place and wants me to be happy, unfortunately I feel terrible about the whole deal because she is miserable. I could say more but im at a loss for words.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 August 2010):
How awkward for your wife..I dont believe in bisexuality you either lean towards one more than the other, there is no in between...Now u must realize how yoyr wife must feel, probably freaked out and blaming everything on herself..or maybe she's telling you its all your fault..Tell her being gay is something you cant cure and this is who you are...Hopefully within time she can accept you and walk away from your marriage with a friendship..all gay men need a fag hag
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A
male
reader, zoocruzz +, writes (4 August 2010):
zoocruzz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your reply. Unfortunately I have asked her for a divorce yet she still insists I stay with her. It's quite frustrating. She still calls me every work break she has for no reason other than to say hi. I still live with her, but I have no where else to go at the moment and the home is part mine in ownership.
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A
female
reader, Romani +, writes (4 August 2010):
You need to be honest and tell her that you love her as a person but that you don't want to be married anymore. Explain that you have realized ou are homosexual and that this has nothing to do with another woman or man ( I'm assuming since u did not indicate another man was involved in ur decision) . It's going to be hard going through a divorce but you both will not be pleased if this facade continues.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): Hi, i think she is forcing you to be with her, i a forced relationship will not prosper,the important here, is that just have been honest with her, so she have nothing to regret you,i think that if you are not attracted to her anymore, it will not work, because you are forcing yourself, to have sex with her and that can bring you pshycological problems, i think you should ask her for a divorce, if she really loves you, she will understand, it will hurt her, but you have been honest, you are going to end being unfaithful to her and having more problems in the future...
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