A
female
age
,
*azzie
writes:Hi AllI am trying to make sense of discovering my husband has been looking at the x porno site on a daily basis last year.I already know that he has a problem with porn, in so far as it has ruined our sex life, as in we do not have sex, which is very strange as he likes to stock pile Viagra, why?? He does need Viagra to get an erection, but I think it is more to do with training his penis to react to his hand rather than the normal way, when we did embark on sex, he wouldn't let me turn him on, he would do that himself with his hand, and the last 3 times we tried, which was months ago, he couldn't finish.When we are out, he is checking out every female that moves and sometimes even nudges me to make sure I look, and will say "she's fit", I have called him out on this and told him that he is mental, a husband should not treat his wife like this.We have been married for 37 years and I only discovered his porn addiction 10 years ago, he said he would stop, all he has done is hide it better, but his body tells on him, then I discover he looks at that disgusting site, which could explain why in the past I have noticed some Viagra missing, which he just says he took and then didn't fancy having sex afterwards.I would like your opinions please, and how to deal with him, as every time I try and speak about it he yells and shouts at me.
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female
reader, kazzie +, writes (9 August 2016):
kazzie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your reply, I appreciate it.
It is strange that you touch on alzheimers, he cannot remember anything already, I always thought that it was the porn and masturbating that did it, you know rubbish in, rubbish out, frazzling his brain, he has always thought that the females fancy him, well in his little fantasy world they would wouldn't they, he has gotten much worse over the years and I suspect he will get progressively worse in the years to come.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2016): what a jerk! it sounds like he has a serious issue. i suppose at your age you dont like the idea of being on the market, then again there are many guys out there in your age range who have outgrown the puberty stuff. i wouldnt put up with you husband if i were you. next time he points out a "fit" girl, point out the fact that his member doesnt work well enough for all that. lol. trust me, no other girl will put up with his crap like you have, so good luck to him ever upgrading you. I cant tell you what to do because you have quite a bit of time invested in your marriage and still have the ambition to fix issues, even if you have to do it without your partners help. but i can tell you what i would do. im petty. i would get a legal seperation filed. and start openly going on dates with guys who treat me like a princess. then as i start feeling better about myself, I'll look better too. and as my life gets better, he can kiss my hind end for not placing value on me as woman when he had me. life is short, let him jack off and go get your self some good romance for a change!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2016): You have every right to be fed up and, unfortunately, you're not alone. Men becoming addicted to porn and unable to perform with their GFs or wives is becoming a fairly common problem.He's been doing this for ten years so I believe he will not change this habit. You've been married 37 years so if you have children they must be on their own by now. I know it may be hard, but leave him. He can't/won't have a normal physical relationship with you. He acts like an ass in public and embarrasses and humiliates you. He's lied to you and if you try to talk to him about this he yells at you. He is making you miserable and it will just get worse.As I said, it might be hard for awhile, change usually is, but it will get better. You can take a deep breath of fresh clean air and get on with your life. Go out with your friends, volunteer, join groups -- just do whatever you can to move away from this destructive relationship that will eventually leave you bitter and regretful.I'm 63 yrs old and if I did it, so can you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2016): He needs counseling. I mean an actual therapist and an actual counselor. Behavioral addiction is all in the head and it can be triggered by a variety of things. The fact that porn and immodest dress is so common nowadays doesn't help. I strongly encourage you to try and get him to a therapist or even a priest.
I've struggled with this my whole life, I still do. He needs help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2016): If this has gone on for over ten years then this is the way its going to be!Your old man cant change but you can.Lets face it he is useless in the sack and an embarressment outside of the house with his stupid remarks!I expect he probably is just stupid and watching young girls selling it is just another dull move on his part.He is probably on his way to alzheimers, so as you still remain a sentient being you could divorce on grounds of incompatibility!Or just start noticing young mens tight abs, juicy bums and glorious gluts as a tit for tat!You could make a list of all the attractive stud like qualities of young men and point out to your doh that he is sadly lacking studability, but he knows that already.Refuse to go anywhere with him so that he cant embarrass you anymore ! And get beautiful attractive man posters up all over the kitchen and bedroom,or look for another soul mate!I would leave him to his jacking off ritual if it makes him happy.
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