A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 and about to start my last year of college. For the last two years, my major requires us to work in hospitals nearby. I worked at one hospital where I eventually started to like this man. He taught me everything I know.When i first met him, I just thought he was a nice guy. He was very intelligent and we had a lot of things common. The first day i met him was very slow and we sat and talked for five hours straight. We both liked movies, eating out, rides, etc. He said he didn't really get to do these things because his wife doesn't enjoy them. so at this point I found out he was married and was expecting a child. (He's in his 30s).As breaks from school came and went, I hadnt thought about it much. but as time when on, we became good friends. He was assigned in one department but would show up where I was and stay to work with me. Even when he had the choice to pick where to work, he went wherever I was. He really went out of the way to talk to me, even when several of my other classmates were around. He is always a gentleman. He holds doors, compliments my outfit/hair... He is always nice to everyone. But i always noticed him talking to me more, being more interested in my personal life.As time went on, he gave mixed signals. He would tease me a lot and joke around. He would also make innocent sexual jokes (rarely, maybe once or twice). He would ask about my personal life and if i was dating anyone. One time he called me "kid" and kind of look at me to wait for a reaction and then he laughed. He always told me that i was cute or pretty. He was always trying to make me laugh and was concerned whenever i seemed down. Sometimes he would even blurt things out in front of coworkers (compliments) which kind of sounded bad and made them suspicious. Anytime I saw him, his eyes would light up and he seemed excited. I was the exact same way. Both of us would have a huge smile on our faces and I just couldnt stop. He would ask how much longer I stay at the hospital. I told him about three more months and he said "....its not enough". i asked him what he meant and he just left the room. It got to a point where, I didn't know if he thought I was a cute little kid or someone he liked. He is very complex and I cant tell what hes thinking.When i wasnt there, we would text and Whenever I asked him how he was, he would say "im okay...". I didnt know much about his wife or life at home. I didnt text him at home, and he always stopped texting me when he got there. He would never text first. But whenever we saw each other in person, he would come over and talk non stop!Theres been many times where hes touched my hand, back or stomach. i ran into him at a doorway and he put his hand in the small of my back and whispered excuse me in a sexy voice. Also on my last day at that hospital, he stood in the hallway and whispered to come in the other room where there was no people. He said "youre very smart. good luck with wherever you go next. maybe our paths will cross again...." and we hugged. I was sad as I walked away and i turned back and saw him watching me leave.... and he looked down and walked away.Thankfully....i went to my next place and there he was... we picked up where we left off. the same types of things would happen. on the day when i was leaving that place, i was sitting next to him. He was telling me stories and making me laugh...It always seemed like he rehearsed what he was going to say to me. He always gets nervous and turns red. He told me he was going to leave around 3.. It was a little before 3 on my last day and i had to go do something. I looked at him and told him id be right back. by the time i finished i saw it was 3.... i ran back to where he was... gone. I ran to where we keep our stuff, gone. (He usually leaves after 3 and for him not to say bye is so unlike him). I couldnt believe that was the last time I saw him and he didnt even want to say bye. I felt like he left on purpose to avoid it. So i texted him saying "...Bye". He replied with a big message where he said "Bye babygirl" and that He hopes we see each other again and that it was always a pleasure . I told him that i still wanted to see him (i meant in an innocent way even though i liked him).... and he said he wanted to see me too but he didnt think his wife would like him hanging out with a cute little 20 yr old... That really confused me... He calls me babygirl and does all these things... but then refers to me as a "cute little" kid.After that day, we texted once talking about my new place. I kiddingly told him I found a new friend at my new place. He told me i was just trying to filll the void he left (which was true). He seemed jealous though and said that he had a new friend too. I saw the way he talked to my classmates, and the way he talked to me. It was totally different.It's been many months now. We have no contact anymore (we dont have each others numbers and he doesnt do social media). After 8 months, I still miss him and think about him daily. I constantly wonder if he had feelings for me or not. I just got my assignment for this coming year, and Im returning to the place where he works. Imexcited and nervous... I can already picture his excitement when i show up there.He is a gentleman. I know he would never cheat. If he was to tell me he was happy at home, I know I'd be able to walk away and leave him alone. I have very strong feelings that i would never act on especially when he has a family. The way I keep thinking about him drives me crazy... there was so much in common and so much chemistry, yet I don't know what's going on with him... What do i do?
View related questions:
co-worker, his ex, jealous, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your answer.
I do feel that he genuinely likes me and then
he pulls back to try to control it. Like you said, I'm
not even sure if we are able to be friends even
though neither of us would do anything wrong.
I just wish I could hear that he is happy in general
so I could have some closure and move on.
A
female
reader, tiakef  +, writes (4 July 2014):
 he could very well genuinely like you, but because he is married he doesn't want to jeaprodize that. It really shouldn't matter what he wants though, if he can't be with you and only you then it doesn't matter. being friends with some1 u really like could have consequences too. Honestly if the friendship means a lot to you then continue being friends however continue not encouraging him and if he gets too bold then tell him point blank that you cant do anything. If he tries to cheat wit you then he really isn't a good man.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionif he wasnt married, I could see myself with him.
But since he is, I can only be his friend. Although I
dont know if that's possible. it never really occurred to me
that the way he acted could ever mean that.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 July 2014):
 ...He wants ass. In a very discreet way. Like all married men intelligent enough to want ass but without jeopardizing their marriage and their reputation on the job.
Does it really matters what he wants, though ? He is married, refardless. What do YOU want from him ?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIve been in a relationship on and off. (Which he also knows about). It could be true that he only does want ass, if it is true - he was very discreet. If his wife saw the whole babygirl thing - I would feel bad. When I saw it, my stomach dropped. I didn't address it or respond to it. I just ignored it.
...............................
A
female
reader, tiakef +, writes (3 July 2014):
he likes you, u like him, that's simple. he has a wife, your single. he is 30, your 20. ....... honey he wants your ass. he hasn't given any sure sign he would leave the marriage for u, he is a gentle man enough to not let things go out of control, but the bby girl comment is a lil too much, if his wife saw that what would you do? You remember that he is married and your single, in the views of every1else if tings got out of control you, even though its no fault of yours, would be labeled a home wrecker. keep things as friends, flirting with a married man you like n he likes you isnt a good idea
...............................
|
