A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:what do i do. im married, 1 child. great marriage, no lies, no infidelity, and no drama. but i think im falling for another man. hes married too. iv been apart working this past year and this man is working with me. were both apart from loved ones. and we have been seeing each other the past 6 months. i like him a lot, i hate it cause i cant stop thinking about him. i see him everyday because of work and hes great. i feel guilty doing this but i cant leave him alone. i even made a move to another state when were done working here to go somewhere else just so i don't continue seeing this man. but i think im falling in love. what do i do. tell my husband? move and take secret to grave. stay and see where it goes with this other man? i need help..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):
Is it bad? Yes, regardless of what many will say on here, the fantasy is not harmless. The way the mind works, it will soon breed dissatisfaction in your current relationship and then the next thing you know, you are involved with some "harmless" flirting with some guy. Before long, the conversations with this guy become the kind where this guy tells you all the things your husband use to tell you and no longer does... The slope is steep and slippery
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): Why not take both? I did. Now I get double the pleasure for the same effort. Birthdays and holidays are a bit complicated nevertheless. You have to do what is right for you. If somehow you can fool these guys and keep both, perhaps one official and the other "on the side," you could have the best of both worlds.
Cheer up, lots of girls envy you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): STOP SEEING HIM.Break it off .Don't feed it.Nothing could will come of it.Those feelings are temporary.Stolen food tastes sweet but is poison to your soul.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009): Whoa there Ms.Anonymous! Are you here to help people or trash them.Your post had one message,"Tell your husband".I am 101% with you on that.The posters here are not your punching bags.The other people reprimanded her too.Check the language they have used.Kevin
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009): Woah woah woah! What's with all the hating in the posts before mine?! And quoting the Bible?! Jeez.... The Bible is outdated on stuff like this I'm afraid! Women didn't work away interstate 2000 years ago in the Middle East... ;-)Anyhow, you've all misunderstood it seems - she hasn't slept with him at all, just has feelings for him. She even is planning to move away to avoid temptation.I think when she said "this man is working with me. were both apart from loved ones. and we have been seeing each other the past 6 months." she used bad punctuation, and bad choice of words "seeing each other" has two meanings. I reckon she meant seeing each other at work every day.So with this in mind - I understand what it is like to have feelings for someone you shouldn't, be it a friends partner while single, or another person while together. It sounds in this situation you have just connected with the nearest attractive person while lonely away from your family. Go back to your family for a while and see if you still think of him every day. If you do then you have a problem - but remember your family comes first. But I still think you are just feeling the pain of being away - and "falling" for this guy is your subconscious' strategy to cope with the feeling of being torn away from your family. Go back to them and see how things pan out.Best of luck! Rxxx London UK
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009):
“stay and see where it goes with this other man?” so if i understand you correctly you still want to have sex with this other man yet keep your family. You are asking a bit too much aren’t you?? How about doing this. Lets play fair. You claim that your HB is good, then just release him. Allow him the opportunity to sow his wild oats with another woman. If he is a decent man he will not have a problem moving on from a cheating wife. You see good decent men are so hard to find and i always say , women will snap them up in an instant. Then, babes, you can have all the sex with this other man. No one will care.
stop thinking with your p*ssy and start thinking like a decent human being. your hb does not deserve your lies and betrayal. you have been f*cking around for 6 months and well you need to make a decision. either the lover or the hb. who ever told you that you can have both was just messing with your head. this sh1t you have created is going to destroy everything good. so yes tell your hb about your lover and let him move on with his wife. he deserves happiness and love and since you cannot provide this to him, just release him to someone else. you have found a lover so it is your hb's turn to find a soul mate too. come on, stop being selfish. divorce your hb then no one will care who you and doing it with.
"...great marriage, no lies, no infidelity, and no drama....." this is the biggest lie, isn't it????? then what are you doing messing around????????
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A
female
reader, Lys  +, writes (9 December 2009):
Are you kidding me? you have a marriage that is good and a husband that is true and a family yet you think what...you could have it better with this man? Fantasy is not reality. Lust and the thought of having sex with this man may excite you but as soon as you have done it and reality sets in and you realize what you stand to lose it will become a whole different evil. Lets also flip it for arguments sake. Say the sex is great and you confirm your passion and now you know you are in love, when the sneaking around stops and the day to day life with this man sets in you'll be begging for your husband to come back! Nothing good comes from betraying someone that trusts you and believes in you. Not only that if you do this you will be forever changed and not in a positive way. Its not worth the obvious outcome and the unnecessary heartache. Really stop and think of what made you fall in love with your husband and how lucky you are to have an honourable man.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Lady, if you want to save your marriage and you give a damn about your family back home quit your job and stop seeing the new guy. You fell for him cause you're lonely and need affection. As the Good Book says, if your hand causes you to sin it is better to cut it off than to go to Hell. Similarly, if your job is putting your marriage at risk it is better to find a new one closer to home that allows you to be with your important family than to lose it all because you were weak and strayed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): Straight up? You say you've had a good marriage, yet you still screwed around and used pathetic excuses. For your husband's sake, I hope you move on to the other guy, your husband is way too good for you by the sounds of things, and your humping partner's wife is probably a decent person too. You and this other stray deserve each other, you're out of the same cheap and nasty mold.
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A
female
reader, dorothy2342 +, writes (8 December 2009):
 From your post I can tell you know what your doing is wrong. You are not just messing up your life, you are messing up your child's and your husbands'if along with this man, his wife and children (if he has any). You already made that choice when you started seeing him, you made a vow to your husband, didn't that mean anything to you. You need to leave this man alone and tell your husband about the situation and see a marriage counsellar.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 December 2009):
The reason you think you're falling for this man is that you aren't at home focusing on your marriage. Go back to your husband and focus on him. The grass may look greener, but it probably isn't. your husband and child need to come first, so focus on that. Your marriage just needs a kick again so you can feel happy with it. I think it's just that you've been working away a lot, so have just become a bit lonely and confused. This other man seems like a good outlet, but your husband and child are the answer. go focus on them.
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