A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a married female,no kids, who has been cheating on my husband with a single man for almost two years now...A couple months ago when I arrived at my guys apartment,another man was there with him, who he said was one of his friends from way back, and that the three of us would be having dinner together, which was almost ready when i arrived. Well, while my guy was finishing up the meal, his friend and I were talking and laughing over some wine...he was very interesting, funny, and good looking too, very masculine.....Anyway when dinner was over, the three of us went to the living room and sat on the couch, and continued talking and having more wine..after a while my guy started kissing me and rubbing my breasts which I responded too even though this other man,who i never met before, was sitting right next to me...Well next thing I know my guy is unbuttoning my blouse, and his friend is kissing my neck and fondling me from behind...from this point things happened real fast...we all got naked and I ended up having sex with both men..we did almost everything to each other, first on the couch and then in the bedroom, and it was very exciting..It was a very long night..Now two months later I'm still having sex with both of them,at my guys place or sometimes at his friends house...Its crazy but I cant stop thinking about my guy and his friend...Its on my mind all the time....The problem is that the friend wants to also see me by myself at times, in addition to when the three of us meet..Its just too much, but I cant stop..what do I do??
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (14 August 2016):
 It would appear that your husband is either away serving in the military, in jail, or in some form of hospital, or he is working shift work or is working far away. Otherwise he would notice all your absences.once your husband becomes aware of your betrayal no doubt your name will be mud and his heart may be broken. Cheating leaves a trail of woe. That said, I also don't think you find your husband very attractive and nor do I think you love your husband since when you love someone, even if they are temporarily absent, your think about them often and find opportunities to connect with them via social media or notes in the lunch you pack for them or love letters to them. You have far too much time on your hands and you are clearly neglecting your husband and most husbands would notice that you are not "there" for them.Option one is to file for divorce immediately as your marriage is nothing but a piece a paper that means very little to you. Even if your husband has the worst Erectile Dysfunction known he still does not deserve this betrayal.Aside from the risk you are exposing yourself to in respect to health you are also clearly not factoring in a whole range of other problems that you could be bringing to the marriage.Has either man been tested for AIDS OR Herpes or Chalmydia and all manner of STDs. You could be exposing yourself to problems that could be life threatening or make you infertile.Does either man take precautions to prevent a pregnancy? Even if you are on the Pill are you aware that if you suffer a tummy upset and vomit a few times you could break the cycle of your medication and expose you to getting pregnant. How would you explain the need for a paternity test from three different men? Coupled with Option one I add Option two: If you do go through with a divorce I suggest you get counselling before you consider any further relationship. your own self esteem is in dire need of rebuilding that you would allow yourself to be used in the way you are being used. Though if you do divorce I doubt that either man will choose to marry you. They are both in it for what they can get from you and neither of them are impressive that they would choose to cheat with a married woman.What I find particularly appalling is the way in which the first man set you up with the second man. It was a set up and you just went along with it. Where is your self esteem that you were not insulted by the set up? How long before they bring along other men and perhaps even charge the other men to use you?finally I suggest that you relocate to a place where you can start a new life, and live a quieter life and mix with a nicer set of people who do not behave in the way the two men have behaved. Learn to value you and expect to behave like a lady and be treated like a lady. And NOT behave like an unpaid sex worker for two men who do not value you at all.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (14 August 2016):
 It's your life. You can run it how you like. You have to be true to yourself. I do think it is always wise to honest with those involved for everyone's sake.
My only warning would be make sure you don't get used. It is comfortable and safe if you keep it in your little ménage. However if the circle becomes much bigger you could be on a slippery slope. And will you want this when you get bored with the threesome?
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (14 August 2016):
I get fed up with people saying “I can’t stop.” Oh yes you can, but plainly you don’t want to. What’s most staggering about your post is that you haven’t even considered your husband in all this – but for a bit of background at the beginning anyone would be forgiven for not even spotting that you’re a married woman. I assume that he’s in the dark about your antics, and the risk you are putting your and his sexual health at by sleeping with strangers.
If you want to be free to see these men as often as you like, why on earth don’t you leave your husband? Put the poor guy out of his misery: I’d far rather be alone than married to some-one as utterly selfish and reckless as you. But here’s why you won’t leave: deep down, you know that there’s nothing of substance to go to. Wise up! You are cheating with people who use you for sex but couldn’t give a stuff about you. Let me tell you something: a super-horny man expecting a steamy night of passion would not invite a friend round for dinner. Not a chance! This threesome was planned all along. Yet despite the fact that it’s your body, your feelings and your choice what you do and don’t do, they didn’t even count you in the planning – and make no mistake it was planned!
Yes you could easily stop. Yes you could be a one-man woman, accepting all the highs and lows and sacrifices (such as turning from temptation) that come with it. But since you can’t clearly do that, at least come clean to your husband. Then go ahead, live your life and do what you want. But stick with men like this and I’d advise you to develop a skin thick enough to cope with being used up and tossed aside as soon as they’re bored with you. And get used to the fact that you’re heading for a very lonely life. There are many people who wouldn’t even want to be friends with a person as deceitful and selfish as you. And that’s me being compassionate, urging you to change your ways. Most of my sympathy goes to your husband, but there’s a good deal left for you too. No-one deserves to be used like this: remember that we get treated the way we let others treat us.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2016): If you "can't" stop, at least fess up and divorce your husband so he doesn't have to deal with the trauma and heartbreak. How horrible for him.
I suggest counseling or a psychiatrist on your part. There is something going on that no one over the internet can help you with.
I hope you let your husband go. I'm sure there are other women who would treat him right. You're not the one.
Poor man...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2016): The first step is to do a favor and get divorce from your husband before you pass him any STDs! Then you are free to live your life and have any sort of gang bangs that you crave. Some people are not just marriage material.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (14 August 2016):
You can tell your husband the truth and let him move on with his life with a woman who is worthy of his commitment.
Honestly, the moral "dilemmas" I read here at time makes me wonder if they are actually serious posts or the work of trolls. My hope for humanity is that they are the latter ...
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 August 2016):
 I think it is pretty obvious to most people that the best course of action would be for you to stop, but if you cant then you can't.
So what you do is accept that your behaviour is somewhat outside the norm for a woman who is married, and would be viewed as cheating at the very minimum.
If you cant stop then you just wait for the cards to fall, and when they do that will be the time to accept your inability to stop has caused any number of people a great hurt and move on to the next self inflicted disaster.
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