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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My husband and I have been married for 6 years and we have a 3 year old. We used to live at my husband's home for the past couples of years and recently moved to an apartment that my dad built for me behind their home since my father did not like the area where we lived. Now, my son started getting eczema on his hand and feet that started of like little buttons and within 2-3 days they got bigger so we have decided to carry our son to the doctor tomorrow. My father saw the eczema on our son and when he was giving my husband a ride to work, my father started talking about how our son's skin is looking and he decided to ask my husband if he bathes after he comes from work. My husband felt so disrespected and he felt like my father is blaming him for our son's skin. After my husband told me my dad asked him that, I laughed but I did acknowledge my father was out of place to ask such a question. If my husband is at home with our son, at times he may bathe him really late and my father assumes my husband does not like to bathe. lol. Our son has his own room but he still likes to sleep in our bed.Yesterday, his sister had a little get together for her daughter's birthday. I had no intentions to go but he insisted that I stay and he would have gone to take our son from my parents. I just came from work and they were expecting me to be home by 9pm. So he went and got our son and my father asked him if I am home, he simply said no. He was really displeased with what my father asked him before and he left it at that. When my parents realized I was not home, they starting calling my phone to find out where I was. I answered and told them I was at his sisters. So my mother was really upset to know that my husband knew where I was and stated that he should have said no I am not home just yet, but I am by his sister. My father came and stated that I should apologize because they were worried. I agree with the fact that my husband should have indicated that but my parents constantly treats me like I am a little child. I never really go any where other than home and work and church. If I had to go anywhere I would advise my husband that I am doing so. Should I have to tell my parents Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2019): Thank you for your responses. I do plan on having a little talk with them to express how I feel. But I think we all need some form of therapy. They are really controlling and it is like they do not see how it bothers me.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (5 November 2019):
I’m sorry but you and your husband chose to move to this apartment that your father built. It does sound to me like the pair of you are being a bit oversensitive. Your dad simply asked a question about your son’s routine because he was concerned about his skin. A simple yes/no answer would have been sufficient. As for the incident where you were at his sister’s, why couldn’t your husband have just told them where you were?
If they are trying to stop you living your life and being independent, that’s one thing. If, however, they are just concerned, that’s quite another. When you live with people, you get to know their routines and their ways really well. If it’s not normal that they aren’t home by 9 pm then you might become concerned in a way that you wouldn’t if you didn’t have the same insight in to their daily lives.
It sounds to me like everyone is brewing up about petty things and that’s because you all need some space from each other. Moving away might be the best option here.
Parents will always be parents. That instinct to worry doesn’t fade so easily just because the person who once depended on you for everything no longer does. Try to be sympathetic to them and talk to them about boundaries.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2019): Absolutely not. Why should you have to answer to your parents? I can totally understand your husband not giving into their demands about where you are. You're not a child. How absurd. I think you should talk to your parents and set some boundaries. They are clearly very intrusive.
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