A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:please help me !!! We have been married for the past 15 months.For the past 6 months we have been facing a lot of issues in our profssional and personal life.He started beating me abusing and so did I One morning he told me he is leaving the house and will never look back.I was very sure he would never leave me but he did.He does not answer my calls and I have been told by his office that he has resigned. That he finished there a month ago.Please help me. I need him back in my life as i really love him very much Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): Just move on from this unhealthy relationship and be glad that this loser left you. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): Hi, you should know that in India men marry for the dowry and then up and leave and marry again for teh dowry.
Seems liek you served his puposes and he has moved on. No amount of calling and begging will bring him back. You were confident he would not leave and he has proved otherwise.
Time to let him go and move on. Yes it hurts like hell but rememeber it cannot get worst, but only better from here. Also you are better off without a loser.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 February 2013):
 Yesterday another Indian OP with an abusive partner got furious at me because I told her that India has the fourth worst record in all world countries for sexual and physical abuse against women.
He anger was misplaced she should have got mad at Mr. Satya Sivaraman, INDIAN, United Nations consulent and coordinator of U.N. studies on violence against women, and the results I quoted came from him.
Now, obviously domestic violence exists in all countries, but if in certain places it never gets any better, or it gets worse, is also because of the WOMEN's mentality. They call " love " what has got nothing to do with it- what love can there be where the " lover " aims to physically damage or destroy the loved one ?
Why do you want him back , if he abused you ? Don't you care about your future, your dignity, your health, your LIFE ? If things get out of control, and he cripples you or kills you, - what are you going to do with your love once you are on a wheelchair or DEAD ?
Ok, I imagine your objection, he wasn't THAT bad, just a slap here, a kick there... Yeah- and you never know when it can happen, every day he could come home to you all nice and kind, OR violent and aggressive. You never know if the arguments that a married couple may have will stay arguments or will escalate to a fistfight. Does not this give you anxiety ? what way of living would that be ? how could you ever be happy in such a situation, someone would please explain it to me ?
I have noticed that you say you hit him back, and , while in a way I want to say " good for you ", that's not actually good at all , and it has no place in love or marriage. Apparently you bring the worst out of each other and push each other buttons in a dangerous, irrational, unmanageable way. It's a GREAT thing that now you have to stay away from each other , before something really bad happens. It is a FORTUNE for you.
I understand that there may be a big complication if you are not financially self supporting and don't have / can't find a job. Unluckily that's not something that can be sorted out by the answers on Dear Cupid.
Still, I believe that to enjoy having a roof on your head and food on the table, you have to be ALIVE and well - and the reasonable assumption that such you will continue to be the day after too, and the reasonable assumption that , if something bad befalls to you, it will not be by the hands of the man you give your " love ".
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