A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im married for 10 years now , ans never gave me a bj how can I change that she said she never will because she's not an animal she only likes one poaittion. She hates doge style as we'll how can I change that because im locking around now and don't want to? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (9 November 2011):
OK, I'm going to give you advice from someone who's been married much longer. Not from someone who's done better, but from someone who might know better.
The word is communication. Communication is key, and it's also something that gets horribly lost in long-term relationships. When we were young and dating we would say all kinds of things to each other, but at the same time we would censor what we said because of our culture, upbringing, whatever. Maybe some of the more intimate things we'd save for when it was more appropriate, like when we were married and you were supposed to be able to say those things. Except that once you were married somehow it wasn't appropriate to say such things.
So you end up married with important things unsaid.
Most of us, after 10 years, decide that there's been too much time passed to bring up those things. And maybe the rest of our lives we go on without things that are important, because we have children, we don't want to rock the boat.
You know what? You've chosen to spend the rest of your life with this person. It's reasonable for you to be open and honest with her and tell her what you want and need to carry on for the rest of your lives. If you're going to spend 40 or 50 years with her, then it's hardly unreasonable to tell her what you want. Honestly, you do have to change things up from time to time. Yes it's fair for her to say no, and you do have to respect that. But at least talk about it, and maybe you can find a compromise.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 November 2011):
 This is only beginning to bug you after 10 years? This sounds less like a case of being sexually frustrated and more like a problem of general restlessness that tends to happen to a lot of after a long time in a marriage. Instead of looking for someone to give you instant gratification and devastating your wife, you should think of new ways to spice up your current sex life.
I ask YOU, does she orgasm every time you have sex and easily? Because that plays a huge role in how excited most women are for sex.
As for blow jobs, a lot of women just really hate doing it, especially when it comes to ejaculating in our mouths. If it means that much to you, buy a sleeve and some lube and have her use it on you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 November 2011):
 I've deciphered your submittal to say that you and your wife of 10 years experience sex only in the "missionary" position... and that you would like to have experience "doggie" style and would also like fellatio.
Any chance that that (interpretation) is correct? If so, then I can give you one of my glib responses.....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): is it because she is conservative? or wat is the problem..maybe you aren't giving her much love and affection..which is needed for a woman to be more physically open ...and blowjob needs a lot of love for some women to do it...im one such...but my bf loves me a lot and im totally comfortable with him....you should make her more comfortable ...time doesnt do the magic..i think there's something deeply wrong in your relationship...i think if there were a man who could make her feel more comfortable and loved..also admired she would do it all...doggiestyle is one where woman lets go of her inhibitions...she says she's not an animal...there could be two things1she is too conservative to open up ...in which case u might need sex counselling2 some problem in the way you treat her on bed...not enough foreplay...maybe you dont respect her enough...dont make her feel like a sex object...make love to her...and then express your desires ...make her feel appreciated if you want doggiestyle..caress her booty ...i'm serious...if you want bj and she feels sick...give her a tonguejob...what were you doing for 10 long years???!!
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 November 2011):
 She said she never will and she never has and now after 10 years you want to change this.... ouch.
will she go to therapy? if not, then if you are THAT unhappy, you may have to end the marriage....
if you are looking around now and don't want to then STOP. You are not an animal and you have CONTROL over your urges....
have you asked her how you can help her get more comfortable with your sex life?
...............................
|
