A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im married. and my sex life is boring. am and my wife are young(under 25). and she doesnt want to try new things. i told her its boring time and time again. i say lets go to the sex store and look for something new. hey turn this was lets try this lets try that. let me go down, how about you god won, lets both go down. nothing!! jsut 2 things, on her back, or bent over, no anal. I NEED HELP!!! its driving me crazy. thats not why i married, but its starting to drive me away, almost wanting me to get new things. can some one help me to help us please??
View related questions:
sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mikes  +, writes (4 September 2009):
 I guess it all comes down to that saying that you cant have it all. Sex is different for so many people. Some girls might only like it on their back, so i guess thats the worst case senario.
Its obvious that you love your wife, otherwise you wouldnt want her to try new things, you just wouldnt care.
Try easing it in slowly thought. Youve got the rest of your lifes together. You might have to spend 6 to 12 months with just the two positions, but then she might get into new stuff, just take your time, life and love isnt a race.
I hope it all works out for the both of you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): I am 20 i also married young and my husband showed me everything he was my first. Some people arent as open minded as others may b shes not. Give her time may b she dosent feel comfortable yet. Or she has insecurities . I love exploring with my husband we have tried it all. But it took me a while. Talk to her tell her if she dosent like it or if she dosent feel comfortable yet. Dont make her do anything she dosent want to do it has to come from her.
...............................
A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (4 September 2009):
 if you keep telling her the sex is boring its going to give her no confidence to try other things.you need to sit down and talk to her about why she wont try new things.take her out, spoil her treat her as if you were just getting together and dont pressure her into sex maybe come away from the sex for a little while and when you get to it again she might suprise you
...............................
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (4 September 2009):
 I think what you want to do is ask your wife whether or not she enjoys sex, and if so besides 2 positions, is there anything she is willing to try.
The problem is that some people view sex differently than others. In any marriage or relationship, sex is as much a journey of love as it is of exploration and discovery.
One of the things you can try for her is to spend more time thinking about the things that make her happy outside the bedroom. In other words, what does she enjoy doing, without having sex; and how can you and she share those things together.
I often have to remind people that sex is only part of love making. You have to be connected emotionally to truly enjoy the experience and it has to be as alluring and enjoyable to her as it is for you.
In order to get your wife to want to go out and explore new sensations, you have to try other things.
Maybe share in her hobbies, and help her do things she enjoys is a start. Look for things neither one of you has ever tried before and start small projects together that both of you can work on together.
With intimacy comes a desire to explore sexuality as a couple. And the best start with intimacy is trust, mutuality and a great deal of time and patience.
In other words, if you want her to become more curious in bed, then you have to start somewhere else and get her to experience new sensations of all kinds.
By trying different things, you can get her to the point where she can make or find herself happy inside. When she experiences personal happiness and is willing to explore the world with you, then she will try new things.
Its a matter of willingness. How much can she trust you if she thinks all you're trying to do is use her? Not very much. So to build that trust you have to be sincere and do things with her and maybe take her places so that she can actually enjoy herself and open up to you.
Try that first and I think she will be willing to get excited about trying new things sexually too. Even if she doesn't go that far, at least you have a solid emotional connection and the boredom will subside. But I think she would be willing to try after some emotional investment.
...............................
|
