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*xjustinukxx
writes: Hi,This is my first question here. I wish I didn't have to ask it, but I do..My wife and I are having problems, we both feel as though the spark has left out relationship. We dont really make love anymore, we hardly spend any time together, and things just feel like they are fizzling out. Last night, my wife said she felt like she is not in love with me anymore, but that she still loves me. I have to admit, I feel the same. We have two children aged 2 and 3 who I love so very much. We have both said we want to work things out, for us, not for the children - as that would be unfair on them. But i dont know what to do.Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
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female
reader, Natalie-x +, writes (8 July 2006):
 Well, to start with, make little changes in your daily routine to fit in time for each other. Even if it's a quick cup of tea together, or watching a movie. Try and have family outings to let your children know everythings O.K.
If things don't change, maybe you should contact a marrage counceller. They really do care and can help you loads. If you dont contact them, don't be tempted to stay together for the sake of your children if it really isn't working out. It's not fair on either of you, when you could be out there, finding the one you truly love.
You probably dont think I know much about marrage, Im only a teen, but I have realtives who feel the same as you. Try to take my advice, and I hope everything works out for the best!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): take her out for a meal or to the movies show her that you love her buy her candels and scents and flowers take her on shopping sprees buy her gifts give her free time take the kids off her hands spend timr together go on lots of family outings have fun together buy her lingere and toys that will help you get your groove on:) lol any way i hope all well goes for you two in the futer bibi for now xxxx
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (8 July 2006):
 Without knowing your history and that of your wife, I would not attempt to answer your question. That is a job for Relate - it's amazing what they can do..
I would love to help, but all I can say is that having young children is a time of great transition, and can sometimes cloud your judgement, preventing you from focusing on one another. Are you both getting enough time just to be together, alone, and to get to know one another as individuals? Could a family member or a friend take the children off your hands for a day or two, or even a few hours so that you can get out of the 'family place' and remind one another why you fell for one another in the first place?? Maybe a romantic weekend away would be a good place to start, with promises from both sides that there will be no arguments..? Surely if someone understands that your marriage is at risk they would be willing to help? It is a good place to make a start and talking it over will help you both to decide what you want to do about the situation. I'm glad that you don't want to give up that easily...Good luck - I would be interested to see how you go on. Please feel free to send me a private e-mail if you wish, as I would love to be able to help you both. Take care.
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