A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey people,I can't help but feel that I'll be single for the rest of my life. Here's my situation:I'm in my early twenties and started balding a couple of years back. Instead of opting for hair transplants and whatnot, I chose to shave my head and embrace baldness.Sure, it took a few months to be comfortable with being bald at such a young age but luckily those days are over.I'm a confident guy once again and feel a lot better but every time I meet a girl, I get this feeling that she's not interested in me ONLY because I'm a bald guy in his early-20s (BTW I'm 5ft 8.5in, have a semi-athletic build, don't smell bad and I don't think that I'm ugly). Because of this, it's hard to make a good first-impression when girls have already judged me based on my hair (or lack thereof). Society in general, thinks this way too and the media is partly to blame. (All those anti-hair-loss product advertisements make balding look like a disease.)I've reached a stage where I think all girls are shallow and superficial and the fact that I've only had girl-friends when I had hair doesn't help.A lot of people have suggested that I should "cure" my baldness by undergoing hair transplant surgery, but I don't want to.Although it would be a lot easier to get girls, I would only be fooling myself 'cuz eventually, when she finds out about my hairpiece/toupee/surgery, she'll leave me anyway.I know that not every girl is into bald guys, which is fine, but I haven't come across anyone who sees me for who I am. Literally every one I've met has been shallow.I'm up against some serious odds, but I've not given up yet. I just wish girls would stop judging people purely based on their looks.Can I ever find girls who see me for who I am or am I destined to stay single forever in this shallow, shallow world??Your thoughts? I'm all ears. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 I dated a guy who went bald in his early 20's, he shaved it all off and kept it that way. Now he still had a little bit of hair (it wasnt a shiny bald head!) but not a lot left on top and he kept it as closely shaven as possible without shaving it all off.
Despite not having hair, and having a big nose...he was incredibly sexy and attractive. He dressed incredibly well, was a perfect gentleman, had a great body (but didnt work out so didnt try too hard at it) and it also helped that he was great in bed! He was one of the most attractive men I have ever been with, his looks were not the most important thing to me - it was the whole package.
This will sound worse than I mean it but try compensating for the lack of hair with other things - like your dress sense, stand out from the crowd a bit with this and make sure you really know how to dress. Pick a style and then make that your entire lifestyle and persona. For example, the guy I dated. As I said, he was a perfect gentleman, and this 'gentleman' side of him was portrayed through the way he dressed, spoke, etc. He would wear a pocket handkerchief in his suit pocket at all times, carried a vintage leather briefcase, always wore leather brogues and never trainers....you get the picture. He was so unique compared to all other men, and his attitude & personality matched his image which was so appealing. The lack of hair was insignificant - I hardly even noticed it.
So I guess what I am trying to say is forget about the hair issue, girls wont be put off by this. Just make yourself unique, embrace the lack of hair and really make yourself stand out from the crowd. That way the hair is not the first thing you notice, it is something else that makes you stand out and the hair becomes irrelevant.
All men judge women on the way they look, and same applies for us girls - first impressions always count. The whole point of meeting someone and then dating them is that you are physically attracted to that person - when you meet for the first time the only thing you have available to you to 'judge' them on is the way they look. Both men and women do it - are you telling me you never notice the way a woman looks and only judge her after a few dates? That is obviously nonsense, yes in an ideal world we would not judge anyone until we got to know them, but realistically in the world of dating we dont have time or the opportunity to go around with our eyes shut talking to everyone to find out who we are compatible with. Hence looks are the first criteria for men and women when looking for a partner. This will always be the case so there is no point moaning about 'shallow girls' - men are the exact same so dont try and pretend it is only women that judge people on the way they look.
Be unique, be confident in who you are and be happy. You will soon find that becomes more attractive than any amount of hair could do for you!
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): Hey - to be honest - balding and really short hair - there ain't much in it - not being funny but hair is not that important about a guy for us girls :-) p.s. if you start trying to fake hair or grow it through treatments many girls might think you were too into yourself / vain. Truth = I find bald heads HOT. Grrrrr. Any other women feel the same?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): Hi. Maybe its the type of girls that you are attracted to thats causing the trouble. I have no problem with bald guys, lots are very sexy. So work through your issues with hair loss and just widen your scope a little, when it comes to the type of women you are attracted to. You could try dating slightly older women. They will have the maturity to see past something like hair loss. Or wouldnt you ever date an older woman because of the age gap? We all have a criteria when it comes to dating and you are probably no different. Just broaden your scope a little and you will find someone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): @drog @pinktopaz @YouWish
Thanks guys, that really helped a lot. :)
-Original Poster
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Geeze, you're kinda bitter! Go easy on us girls, will you?
I personally think that you're making more of a big deal about your hair than we would. But, that's human. We tend to focus on our physical flaws way too much, like Pinktopaz says.
My younger brother's hairline is severely receding, and he hates it so much, always wearing hats, keeping his hair bald/close to bald, and engaging in self-harming behavior because of his insecurity.
On the other hand, I had a good friend who started balding at the age of 19, and he turned it into a million dollar enterprise hair restoration institute. On that note, do you realize how many actors have hair replacement treatment? Just look it up online! You wouldn't think twice about buying a tie or a great pair of shoes or a really nice watch. Why should hair be any different?
It's not your hair that is hindering you in the girl department. It's your lack of confidence and subsequent sour grapes attitude towards us. You don't realize it, but your obsession over your hair has changed the way you approach women. You may feel like you're confident, but if you really were, you wouldn't be making your mind up about women who aren't interested in you because of your hair.
You have a lot going for you. Life is a poker game. Play your hand that you were dealt, and you can still win the game of life and romance.
Personally, I have never cared about where a guy's hairline is. Now if he didn't shower, had anger issues, or otherwise looked grossly unhealthy or creepy, that might sap my interest.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 November 2010):
First of all...girls aren't the only shallow ones. We're worried about our weight constantly and how big or small our boobs and butt are--we get judged on that stuff by men as well. I've known quite a few girls that think bald guys are sexy. An ex-boyfriend of mine was in his early twenties when he started going bald and honestly, it was not nearly as bad as he made it out to be. I didn't care either way because I thought he was attractive anyway and we got along really well, so I honestly didn't care about his hair (or lack thereof).
Don't worry about it so much. Girls don't care as much as you think they do (I'm sure some do more than others) and your balding probably isn't even as bad as you think it is. Definitely don't go with a toupee or anything of that nature, a girl would rather you be bald than wear a rug on your head. If you're comfortable with yourself, then that's what matters. The right girl will come along, trust me, girls really don't care that much as long as you're confident and just be yourself.
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A
female
reader, drog +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Funny. I was once in complete lust with my only bald teacher in high school.
But anyway, it seems like you've only been met with bad luck. That's not an excuse to say "keep your chin up, buddy" but rather to say that you have not met every single woman in the world. Perhaps you are in a certain hemisphere where baldness is not appreciated, who knows?
In all seriousness, I see nothing wrong with baldness and know that there are many other women like me. There is no reason to give up the hunt just yet.
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