A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This isn't really a question, but a comment that I'm interested in seeing people's thoughts on.This is about male/female masturbation.My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep. She tried to wake me up but apparently I would just roll over and go back to sleep. so, in hopes of helping her sleep, she masturbated in bed while I slept next to her. she told me she did this a few days later.When we are visiting at my mother's house, my girlfriend masturbates in the shower because it has a detachable shower head. i could be talking with my mother down the hall knowing my girlfriend is getting off at the same moment while she showers.Now, I'm not complaining. actually, i think it's really hot.My point is, if I or any other guy jerked off next to their sleeping girlfriend, or in her mother's shower, we'd be considered gross, or pigs, etc...kinda a double standard that's not really fair, huh?comments? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): Pfft boys and girls do...lol even though im 17, i will admit i actually havent done it because, well, i cant really be bothered at the moment lol...
however i know my girlfriend does it and another female friend who accidenlty blurted it out does it too...
I guess it's just a kind of way men are portrayed stereotypically if only people think its men...
A
male
reader, cockainis +, writes (23 November 2008):
 Before anything else, study your girfriend. You should know the signals when she is feeling horny. Women want to seduce, and if you ignore her come-ons, she will go get that shower head.
Then study how she masturbates because you will learn how to make her reach orgasm better if you did your homework. And study well... ask questions. Look at small detials like the amount of presure she applies to her clitoris. Many times, due to the force of habit, one small spot of the clit is more sensitive. Let her use you to "masturbate". It has nothing to do with how much she loves you.
But if you continue to neglect her needs, you can be sure that she will sooner or later promote her masturbation to having an affair.
If you do not know how to make your woman happy, someone else will.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): Part of the reason might be because when men masturbate we tend to make a mess. Most women don't ejaculate. I'm not saying it's fair but that might be a reason.
But I have to say that I personally have never experienced this double standard in my life. If anything, men masturbating is totally cool and normal, and people like to pretend that women don't actually have a sex drive, don't like looking at naked men, don't get aroused by porn, and don't pleasure themselves. A few months with any women will tell you that none of these things are true. They are just as bad as us men when it comes to checking out hot guys, getting themselves off, etc. I'm not sure where we get our ideas from about these things. Must be the TV or something.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): It' strange really, the only reason i don't feel dirty masturbating is because i know that guys do it too. I would have no problem with them doing it when I'm not around but i don't want them to tell me about it just as i don't tell anyone that i do it. I'd probably have a little problem if they were doing it at my mums house but still...as long as no one (especialyl your mum) finds out but she wouldn't anyway right?
=]
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A
female
reader, Mushgirl  +, writes (22 November 2008):
 No way, my ex used to jerk off in front of me all the time, specially if my hands were getting tired. I'm sure she wouldn't care. Obviously you two can talk about this quite easily, so next time she mentions herself masturbating why don't you bring up the subject of if it were the other way round and see what she says?
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (22 November 2008):
my ex bf used to jerk off all the time when i was with him. i think he kinda liked doing it when i was there or asleep. must of turned him on. it never bothered me, sure i liked giving him handjobs more then watching him do it himself, but sometimes you just have to make yourself feel good.
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A
female
reader, aprildawn +, writes (22 November 2008):
 no a pig would be jerking off to porn& not pleasing his woman like mine does!!! i have a huge sex drive& he acts like he doesn't, but would rather please himself while i'm out or at work& our daughter is napping!!!! i have spiced it up, tried new things& he doesn't act interested because (me)"i cant have one this way"...how thoughtful of him.....so during the 5-6 days without i just think he's tired when actually he has already pleased himself& screw me!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): Please put me out of my misery and tell me these women here are not serious.
Emilysanwers, "It is because I'm a girl"?. What? I am a girl too and I don't think like that, and there are plenty of other girls who don't either. Hopefully you were just being sarcastic...you were, weren't you?
molly4: "Women deserve these double standards because we have the babies"? Again, hopefully this is irony..having those double standards is ridiculous and childish. I wouldn't want to "deserve" something like that.
And HELLO- masturbating and having sex with another person- two different things, two different needs. All the sex in the world is not going to stop someone from masturbating. OR fantasizing.
Masturbation cannot replace sex, but sex cannot replace masturbation either.
I have a great guy in my life and I love having sex with him but that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop fantasizing about other men and pleasuring myself.
I just hope the women who have these double standards realize that if they keep deluting themselves it will backfire; when their bubble bursts they can't blame the guy.
Their own immaturity, yes.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (21 November 2008):
 Thanks! This thread is GREAT AMMUNITION for replying to the next woman who complains that her husband masturbates while watching porn!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (20 November 2008):
I'm a woman and I have accepted that I have MASSIVE double standards.
Male masturbation is dirty and wrong. My husband probably does it but I don't really want to know the details other than "I couldn't stop thinking about you the other night..." and this must be followed by lots of sex with me.
When I do it, it's just something I do and it's not a big deal.
Same with flirting, I can flirt and it means nothing, if I knew my husband was flirting then I would cry and shout.
I know this is because I am a girl that that is just how we roll. So I work on the theory that ignorance is bliss. What I don't know won't hurt me. I know he'd never do anything like cheat, but in my mind I want him to purely think about me all day every day, and see all other women as grey blobs.
Don't get caught and keep your girl satisfied and all will be well.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, molly4 +, writes (20 November 2008):
 hm, if anything, women deserve this "double standard" or whatever. if you think about it, a girl who sleeps with a bunch of guys is considered a slut, but a guy who does the same thing is considered 'lucky" or 'cool'. this is just my opinion, maybe women deserve it? after all, we have the babies. :)
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (20 November 2008):
Not really sure. I suspect that the women who are opposed to men masturbating are the ones who don't masturbate themselves....
Another thing is that men masturbating depletes the cum build-up and the urge to have sex, while women's masturbation doesn't have that effect unless she does it to tremendous excess. So I suspect some women might feel cheated if a man masturbated, while a man wouldn't feel the same about a woman.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): I agree with you totally. Very often women don't want men doing certain things (ogling hot looking people, masturbating and fantasizing etc.) but in reality they are doing it themselves so what gives? I think it's a complete double standard you are right.
I am a woman and I am having a hard time understanding women who get jealous of their men masturbating or looking at a pretty girl's picture. It's normal and completely healthy too. My guy looks at hot women-I look at hot men. Big deal! It's not cheating, it's human. And also very enjoyable :) - and nothing to be jealous of!
Everyone of us masturbates, looks at attractive individuals, fantasizes. And everyone of us should just accept it and get over themselves, male or female.
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