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Making a book for my friend as my leaving gift, should there be a love letter at the end now I have fallen for her?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 March 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2012)
A male United States age 36-40, *roznsoul writes:

In about two months, I'll be leaving the Philippines and going back home to New Jersey. I realize that I will be leaving my best friend here, and I admit that I will miss her a lot. Honestly, when I think about leaving... the thought that pops of most is the fact that I will be leaving her. I started working on a project last month and that will be her good-bye present. Every night until I leave, I will write her a letter telling her about my day, my thoughts, etc. She's been very busy lately so it's been very difficult to keep in touch. I haven't seen her in a month lol. These letters will be put together into a book. The book will also have poems that I've written since I started, and pictures that I've edited with photoshop. The thing is, as I work on this more and more... I fall deeper and deeper in love with her. I want to tell her how I feel when I leave. I know the risks... but I'm willing to go through with it. But what I can't decide is whether to add those feelings into the book...

I guess my question is... should there be a love letter at the end of the book?

View related questions: best friend

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A male reader, froznsoul United States +, writes (1 April 2012):

froznsoul is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Sorry about this hehe. What do you mean by staying? Staying with her, or staying in the country? Honestly, when I leave I'd love to be in a relationship with her :). Then I have someone to go back to :D.

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A male reader, froznsoul United States +, writes (1 April 2012):

froznsoul is verified as being by the original poster of the question

There's also another thing I kind of want advice on.

You see, things have been awkward between us for a month now. It all began in February. One morning she just suddenly told how bother she was that her mother kept asking her questions about whether we were more than friends or not. She then told me that she didn't want to told hands or kiss again. Remembering those times made her uncomfortable. This is strange to me because first of all, I only kissed her on the cheek once which was back in November. And the last time I even touched her hands was back in December, when I wanted to get her ring size.

Also ever since then her texts have had a strange feeling but maybe I'm being paranoid. Kind of cold and uncaring. I haven't seen her in a month. She doesn't even call me by the nickname she gave me, bestest, now. I've only called her cell phone three times, and each time she chose not to pick up. Last time she said it was she was too busy packing for her new job in a new city...

Now she has just left, and she just told me that she's treating me this way so I could get used to the fact that she won't be around much anymore. She doesn't want me to miss her much or feel bad.

To be honest, I prefer the feeling of missing her a lot when she finally goes away. In my opinion, I feel its best to live each moment as best as possible. It will create great memories. Sure, I'd miss her a lot... but I'd rather have those good times and have the short-time pain later than not have those memories at all. But then again, it's just me.

I'll be leaving the country in a month. A part of me wants to not contact her until before I go... when I give her the gift and love letter. In the back of my mind I'm thinking in reality, she's treating me this way so that she won't miss me badly. And if that's the case, I'll help her out... But a part of me doubts this idea. it could make things worse...

What should I do?

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (23 March 2012):

Danielepew agony auntAnnalisa is right.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (23 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI think you should tell her BEFORE you go.

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A male reader, froznsoul United States +, writes (23 March 2012):

froznsoul is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your advice Annalisa :). It really made me think about how I want to leave and I'll definitely take it under consideration. But, you didn't really my question XD.

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