A
female
age
30-35,
*ymmyb
writes:I did something terrible, yet I don't regret the pain. I had a friend I was kind of intimate with on and off for a few years and now we've completely hate each other even though he denies and says I make stories. We're parellel, I mean 1stly he's unemployed and doesn't go to college unlike myself I'm a full-time student. He's white/mexican and I'm Trinidadian. He's social with charisma, good looks and charm, I'm shy, humble, and I keep to myself. A few days ago we went out with friends and I asked him if he cared about me or if he was mad in which in turn he told me, "it's ok, don't worry about it". He said he learned to get upset, in turn I told him "I don't like it when I don't get my way, so I get upset". I wasn't convinced because the only time we were close or he cared was when he wanted one thing in turn. He made some rude remarks for example "I can't love you but I like your tit's and ass". Everythign was cool until That nite after the club I was drunk and ran frantically after him in anguish, and pleaded him to answer and tried to fight him. I said some harsh things to him and he said that "as much stories as you make no one is going to believe you over me, I'm @#$% (HIS NAME)". I was disgusted and in disbelief. At 3 am I shouted back at him until an old man talked to us got deep into my mind and life. The old man said perhaps "your jealous that he has a decent family and you don't". It's true..I was angry and told the old man that he more or less couldn't care and treats me like I'm a prostitute, and that we're arch-enemies. He said some bs to me and I didn't understand his hipster blander/talk.After the old man left my old friend looked like he wanted to kill me .I cried and walked towards him asking "what's going on, tell me right now?" he ran and left me in the cold alone. Our friends were around the area drunk and he later found them, they asked where he left me and he replied that "she's a grown woman and that she needs to think about her actions and the things she said". One man came and busted his lip for leaving me alone, a woman by herself in San Francisco , at 3am". After the punch to the lip he walked off in pain because he never fights, he's scared, he's helpless. Meanwhile, I was crying and walking toward the train station waiting for it to open again at 4am. After it opened, I eventually saw this idiot at the station. He continued to ignore me and told me not to touch him, to stay away from him. He begged the homeless and the train station's policemen for change. His lips went from Mick Jagger to a swollen, bloody,opened, mess. I followed to ask what happened, I found out after he told the police in front of me that he got punched for leaving me alone. I followed worried and shakened and kept asking him..dude kept pushing me back so I took his hat and he went to the police at the station and it ended there, too long to explain but he got his cap back. My real friends came to my rescue and we left. He didn't want to talk anymore and later on that day he ranted to my friend about how he never wants to hang with me and blamed me for his busted lip. He left me alone at night late in San Francisco sobing, how should I feel? I've looked out for him despite my actions I've shown him more compassion because it's the humane thing to do at the end of the day. That morning his vagabond bicycle was on my friend's and mines patio which I slashed his rear tire, tore the brakes and gears, then wrote on the bike "Never trust a big butt and a smile". I felt I let out anguish and torment. The next day, he literally, superglued his lips together because of no health insurance, and because he claims the alcohol in superglue is a healing method to his busted lip . He came to my friend's and mines apartment to retrieve the bicycle. When he saw his bike he cried to my friend that it's his only form of transportation and his mother would be mad at him for not bringing it back. At the time I was in class. He threatened to call his own mother who he lives with on my friend because his bike was on his property. It's his father's bike and his mother is already mad at him for losing her bike, keep in mind this dude is 25 years old. He dropped out of college and quit working, decided to use self-deprivation as a reason/excuse to not contributing to society or himself. He likes to say he's a Libertarian when he tries to be hipster, when he's become ghetto as hell and a womanizer who falls back on his mother to deal with his craziness. I don't get how a decent person from a decent family can hurt people who care and blame them for the shit he does on himself! All of his priveleged hipster, uppity, kosher, vegan friends,treat him like he's God, pay for his booze, smokes, food, and entrance fees to events. Yet he talks crap about them and myself, yet the funny thing is he never admits his faults. When I confront him he's mad..."You should go to school..you're too intelligent..etc.. I can't believe it, even women, including myself fall for him. He found me in a hopeless place in life, talked to me, invited me with warmth and friendship, now he's cold, which has made me cold and bitter. I may have literally spit on him and made him mad at times, but never would I do or say the messed up crap that he repeats. I don't get how men and people always say to an asshole when he's next to a beautiful women that he's lucky, when he treats her not so. I know we're not together but you never should leave someone in a dangerous or vulnerable state, no matter what the consequences are. I feel hurt about his ordeal. When he feels he's in the mood for me I let him in , he invaded my space, it's like a virus. Am I wrong for destroying his bicycle? Secondly should I return it to his mother's house and ask for my friend's bike? He left it here because my friend got involved while I was gone and let him borrow his bike as a method of compromise. I don't want it here, it brings bad memories...Plus I used my friends bike to ride to the University and he let him borrow it.
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drunk, in the mood, jealous, prostitute, shy, smokes, university, womaniser Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tymmyb +, writes (2 March 2013):
tymmyb is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks all, I will give him the money he needs for the bike and return it back to him in the interim.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 March 2013):
Holy crap that's a lot of drama. It sounds to me like you have a lot of issues that you need to address about yourself before you start accusing other people of doing wrong.
Not only should you give the bike back you should have it fixed. You're not a little kid anymore so it's time to stop acting like one.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): You not only need to return his bike, you need to pay to fix the damage that you did to it.
I am still not certain what you think he did to you. You were not anything more than friends with benefits...and you obviously hate him, so you aren't even friends.
Fix his bike and be done with him. Your lives are perpendicular...it is time to see they are going in completely different directions.
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A
female
reader, chinana  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 Dear OP, its understandable you were hurt but you dont go around destroying peoples property when they show you that they dont like you. Yes his actions make his sound like an immature jerk but you are equally as immature and silly as he is. Sorry for being blunt dear. Why do you associate yourself with him, if he is such a lowlife then why were you begging him to be your friend. What does that make you? Why would you want to be friends with someone who brings the worst in you.From your post you seem like someone with anger management issues, low self esteem and low self respect. Return his bike and apologise have some dignity and class. Cut all ties with him, concetrate on getting your college papers and befriend people who build you rather than destroy you. Your call. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 Whoa. For being someone who's shy, humble and keeps to herself, you sure ain't that bad at mayhem and mischief, and general hellraising...
Yes, of course you were wrong for destroying his bycicle, why do you even ask ? You can't invoke having being provoked, the provocation here is basically he doing his own thing, and not being overly fond of you but for your tits and ass, which is surely within his rights, no ?,I mean , he does not HAVE to like you , nor to be as unhipsterish and down to earth as you'd like him.
But even if he had actually done something to you, well, two wrongs don't make a right, according to popular wisdom, and according to the police too. In fact, you have been very lucky he has not pressed charges !, he's really been a good sport.
As for retrieving your friend's bycicle, let him take care of that. The friend was the one who decided to get involved and to lend his bike to your FWB, now let HIM get it back. Besides, going to your FWB's mother with the wrecked spoils of her son's bycicle is a bit like waving a red drap under the bull's nose, you don't want to push HER to press charges,
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): I don't honestly know how to address all the issues between you and this man, so I will leave those aspects for a better aunt or more qualified aunt to answer. But I'm a bike rider myself, with just one bike that I need to get me to work and back, so....I advise that you should take his bike to the repair shop, fix what you broke, and then drop it off at his house. It's his property. Or his father's property. Anyway, it's not yours and you shouldn't have destroyed it. No matter what came before. However bad you think this guy is, you should try to be the better person.
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