A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well i am a 17 year old girl who made the mistake of losing her virginity to someone she isnt going to spend her life with.I regret it and now i dont know how my future husband will take it and have fear he wont love me the same way as if i were a virgin.i had the mentality of losing it to the love of my life which i think is the person one marries but i lost it with my first boyfriend.i feel that now i wont find someone pure to marry. i always hoped that the person i married and i lost our virginity together and now it wont be like that. i dont want and i dont plan to have sex until i get married. i havent had anyother boyfriend.I feel that i wont find someone pure anymore because im not.Can a guy still love me the same way as if i were a virgin even though im not?Do i still have the possibility of finding someone pure who will marry me even though im not?my first boyfriend wasnt a virgin and i really loved him and i wanted to be everything to him and for him to love me so much and i think that is also whatinfluence me to give it up to him too, to earse the memory of his first girlfriend which is who he lost it to, he had already told me that he loved me more than he had loved any of his ex gfs and that it was a mistake what he did
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): well if you read all your reply please read this one i'm guy who made a huge mistake about a year ago i met a girl who fell in love with me and over time i fell in love with her although i never showed it because of my previous relationship i really came out hurt, well anyway i started dating her and we did have sex i she lost her virginity to me
as time when on i saw a opportunity to join the coast guard to advance in life and get a career in the process i broke her heart something i regret because she was a great person i realize that what i wanted most in life was her and when i tried to get her back she did't want to speak to me
she loved me and i broke her heart i wish i would't never done that because i love her i stayed and i did't go to the coast guard i'm trying to win her back
my point is that guys make mistakes and you should't go hard on your self maybe he did love you maybe not, i do hope she can forgive me i guess i was caught up in a little piece of heaven,
i'm 21 i'll soon be 22 in may. i'm still learning about life
you done nothing wrong you went with your emotions if you need somebody to talk to my e-mail is [email address blocked] i would like to help you as a friend and if you can answer me this question if he comes back and says that he loves you would you forgive him and go back with him
start over and forget the past, would you be happy
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): I don't agree with marieclare about virginity won't mean anything if he loves you.
It's like saying "Physical appearance won't mean anything if he loves you!" It makes a nice romantic ideal to believe in. But the real world is more complicated than that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): I don't agree with Illithid that mature virgin guys don't care about a girl's status.
How is that different from some girl deciding that he is immature for still being a virgin? Either way it declares anyone else's feelings about virginity to be less mature than your own.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (26 March 2010):
 I can't vouch for all men, but here's who I am: I am 26, a virgin who's done some things (up to third base) but kept that last act and will keep it until marriage. But I do not expect a virginal bride. I am a virgin for MYSELF. I am keeping it for my OWN reasons and I am not going to turn down a great girl just because she's not kept hers.
Even guys that are virgins aren't necessarily going to be fanatical about women being the same. (At least, not the mature guys.)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 March 2010):
A guy who is pure and good and genuinely loves you will accept you as you are now. No one is perfect, and a good guy won't expect that. He'll love you just the same.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): It's dangerous to view virginity as "purity" the way you call it. When you start seeing yourself as impure you aren't respecting yourself enough. That will only make things worse for you in relationships. A guy who wants a virgin girl (I assume he's a virgin himself or he's a hypocrite) will not be thrilled about your sexual decisions. He may find it a deal-breaker or he may not, but that depends on the guy. It doesn't rule out the possibility but it hurts your odds. Don't lie to guys about it. You don't need to tell them if you don't want to, but deceit is not fair to them or to yourself. They deserve to know who they are marrying whether that's good for your chances or bad. Either tell them the truth or tell them you don't want to talk about your past. If a guy tells you that he doesn't want to know your past, then this choice may be better in the end.You deserve to marry someone who loves the real you, not just the person you'd rather them believe you are. I can tell this is a very big deal to you. You are never going to feel unconditionally loved if you're secretly hiding this from your man. Staying honest about it will make the process more difficult in the dating stage but easier in the long run.
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