A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please Read...My bf dumped me a month ago. He dumped me because he got depressed and love and relationships was just something he no longer wants at this moment in time. Im still in love with him but I dont hurt as bad as I used to. Yes I want him back but Ive decided to live my life because I cant wait around forever when he may never come back.Anyway I used to like this guy I worked with but got over him around 3 years ago. Well Ive still always flirted with him because Im naturally flirty. Anyway me and him and another work colleague went out drinking on sunday night after work and we ended up going back to his house. We were meant to go back home but my other friend fell asleep at the edge of the bed so we left her and decided we'd just stay the night.Well at this point I should say he knows Im single as he found out around 2 weeks ago but we found out last night he too is single as he broke up with his gf last week. He said he wasnt sexually attracted to her so there was no point keeping it going. We flirted all night and have been alot for a while.Anyway what happened was he gave me a pair of his shorts which I put on and I just took off my cardigan and slept with my own shirt on but we left the other girl hanging on the edge and then I went to the middle and he went behind me. He automatically wrapped his arms around me. Like around my waist and tucked his hand under me a little bit and it felt so right. I loved it!!!I felt loved oddly enough, and it just felt really good. The other girl woke up and we would talk and laugh and id mess around with him and bite his finger and his other arm was under my head and id run my fingers along his hand and he would blow on my back and shoulders and neck. I also basically slept with my ass attached to his croth area and I do move alot so I probably grinded him alot (but we were dancing earlier on the dance floor and grinding anyway) and also we intertwined our legs a few times but he didnt really care that the other girl was there, he just cuddled me. We didnt do anything besides that and didnt even kiss.But I really liked it. And I want it to happen again but I feel so guilty, why?Im a single girl. Yes Im still in love with my ex but I need to move on because I have the strongest feeling he is never going to come back to me. But regardless theres no harm in it right? I need to move on, live a little, something. So why do I feel so guilty yet I still want more? And I want more to happen between us but Im not sure if it will or not because Im not sure what to make of his actions.
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male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (15 July 2011):
 Well my first bit of advice is proceed with extreme caution because to me your guilt screams out that intellectually you may have made the decision to move on but you are nowhere near moved on emotionally. You feel guilty because you still feel like your engaging in a form of cheating and you can only feel that if your bond with your ex is still alive and kicking although you may have decided to kill it. Just because you decide something doesn't mean it will happen automatically.
There is no harm in it; your not doing anything wrong BUT if you move too quickly you could end up in a right tangle. By your own admission you still love your ex so you know your not over him. I would imagine what you had with this other guy felt good because it was a comfort for your wounded feelings; it's only natural you should feel that way, its common.
Don't let your guilt stop you moving on BUT I would take it as a warning sign to take things extremely slowly and only proceed when your emotionally ready or else you could end up in a proper mess. Good luck and take care :)x.
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