A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need your help because i really don't know what to do!!I was in a relesionship with a boy called luke for 2 years... nearly 2 years. We had plenty of rows, they were usually based on someone telling me something and him denying it.I loved him though so i stuck by him. I must of been with him about 8 months when i found out i was pregnant he was over the moon, and i was too even though we were both young i thought it could work. At 19 weeks i decided to tell my parents, my dad had his suspisions as i had a slight bump and although i tried hiding it it was a bit obvious. He was calm about it and supported me, however my mum went mentel and was going crazy at me. The following day i started bleeding heavily and getting sharp pains in my stomache, my parents took me to hostpital. I was kept in, and had a misscarriage.After that we started going down hill, i went through his phone one day and there were strange messages. Then his ex girlfriend told me they had sex, he denied it. It was one this after another, and i kept getting the feeling he was cheating on me. Then about a month ago, after he came back from holiday, he started telling me he needed space. I was confused by this because we had been fine, but i agreed as i didnt want to argue. I went away to my friends for a week and didnt contact him at all. When i came back i had missed calls and messages on my mobile ( i left it at home ) from him. I recall one saying " i love you so much im sorry for being a dickhead, lets sort things out ". I didnt ring him and waited to see if he would ring, he did, and we sorted everything out. However he was still acting suspicious, it was like i knew he was lying but i didnt want to believe it. About 3 weeks ago today, i rang his house, although he's told me he was at work i had a feeling i had to ring his house. His younger sister told me he was having a bath and to ring back. I rang back 10 mins later, im not sure why but it was like someone was telling me i needed to. His sister said he was still in the bath so i said " whats he going to see his girlfriend ", making a joke and she replied with "what andrea, i don't know". I was confused, he had told his family we had broken up so he could get with her. I went crazy and went to his house with my mate, although people tried stopping me it didnt matter i wanted to know why he had done it to me. I arrived at his astate and people were coming out there houses, i said where's luke. He had gone as soon as he knew i knew, i spoke to his neighbour, she said that the girl had been round a lot recently and she never knew. That night i rang him and i spoke to him, my anger had gone i was just sad. He told me he loved me and the rest.A week later i met up with a few of my mates, i had liked this boy for ages and we ended up kissing. Luke was out of my head, i still loved him but i knew i needed to move on. I ended up getting with this boy, and although we havent been together long he treats me like a princess. We do our own thing and he doesnt try and control me, he really cares about me.I have been talking to luke, because we were really close friends and i dont want to lose that however he has realised that he was an idiot and is doing everything he can to get me back. He brought me roses, he asked me to go to dinner, and i love him to pieces so i agreed to get back with him on the condition that he does one thing and we are over. However i really like this other boy and think we could have a future together as he genuinlly cares about me, and i dont want to hurt him. I dont know what to do anymore!!!HELPP!!Lots of love Chloe x
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (12 September 2007):
 I would say love conquers all, but does it. His cheating on you causes distrust. Can you truly forgive him. Will what he did weigh on your mind making where getting back with him may not be quite the same. Who knows. Just liking a boy, does not equal love. Are you willing to risk the true love you have for someone for the chance you could love this other person, or there's a chance you may never love the other person. If you were to get back with your ex-boyfriend, I would recommend you both see a counselor. He may realize he screwed up, but what caused him to screw up and risk his relationship with you in the first place. On your end, you need to work on sorting out how you feel what he had done. Remember just because you change relationships, doesn't mean the pain caused by being betrayed disappears. It comes with you, and can affect the new one too, until the feelings are understood and sorted out.
A
female
reader, Missy C +, writes (12 September 2007):
 Hi Chloe,To me it sounds like Luke dosent know what he wants himself. As harsh as it sounds, he might be keeping all his options open so that if one falls through he has the other to fall back on. To me it sounds like he is seeing another girl, and if he is'nt then he is either messing with your head or wanting you to beleive he is seing someone else to meka him feel in control. I personally wouldnt trust him. I think that you should see how it goes with this other guy. If he treats you like a princess and you like spending time with him, then what is there to loose with him. I understand that you love Luke, after all you were with him for nearly 2 years... and your used to being in each others company and seeing him. But do you want to be second best, or sittin on the fence post waiting to see whether he cheats again. Can u trust him because to me it doesnt sound like it, and you cant build a relationship on trust. I think that you shoud give it a whirl with this other guy, see how it goes, but stay good friends with Luke. If he really Loves you then he will either wait for you, or would want to see you happy.Let me no how it goes. Chloe xx
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A
female
reader, Jualsy  +, writes (12 September 2007):
 Why on EARTH would you want to endanger your new relationship with something that you have been in, read the book, got the T shirt etc. You KNOW where the past relationship led you....learn from that. Happiness lies in making different choices and getting different results.....not going back to something you have rejected, surely????The unobtainable can always seem attractive!!!
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