A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I bumped into my ex-bf last week and am struggling to understand his attitude - he acts like he doesn't care at all about my life, but when we broke up, he said I'd always mean the world to him, so now I'm confused!We were together 9 years. Lived together for 7 of them, until I found out he was "messing around" with a female colleague. Split up, long coversations, got back together after 6 months (living apart) and things were better than ever (he even said he wanted us to get married and have a family, out of the blue-a lovely surprise!), until 1 year on, I discovered he was doing the same thing. We decided to split because he didn't know what he wanted from life. I was heartbroken. So much so, that I left the country and moved to the other side of the world! I tried to make a clean break, had no contact, and until my father got ill unexpectedly. I had to return home, and have had a horrible time, trying to support my family, deal with my father's illness, etc. There were many times when I wanted to call him but I resisted.So then last week, whilst visiting my father, I literally bumped into him in the local shop (he lives in my home town). He was so cold - I didn't understand at all. I said hi, asked if he was ok. He said "yeah". I asked if I might be able to talk to him sometime as my father was ill, and he said "not really." And he walked off!I don't understand because he said he'd always be there for me, that I was his best friend, and he always got on well with my father.I really want to call him to find out what his reaction was all about. He hasn't called me to see what's up, and I want to understand why he doesn't care at all anymore. I still care about him more than anything, and though I wouldn't want him as my bf ever again given how he's treated me, I would always be there if he needed a friend.What should I do? How can I understand his behaviour?
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best friend, broke up, got back together, hasn't called, heartbroken, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Myau +, writes (18 April 2010):
 Why are you doing this to yourself? You have to let go.
By clinging to a long dead relationship you are only letting him hurt you more. You were together along time and if you were ment to be then you would still be together. You should accept the way things are and move on with your life.
I know its hard to let go, especially since you have invested so much of yourself in it. But what really do you have to gain by reestablishing contact? You will just get hurt again.
Besides its way past time to meet someone new.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 April 2010):
He cheated on you, is an ex, and for all his promises has failed you. This is a man that you need to end contact with. Simply, he didn't like it that you dumped him. He will never be there for you, because he wasn't before. Leave him out of your life, and accept that he's no good.
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