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writes: Starting to go crazy now :(A few months ago now, my fiance left me. And as you could probabily guess, I was devastated. I love this woman more than, well, life itself.The reason she left me was because my depression was too much for her to handle, she couldn't take seeing me in such pain all the time. Now, it probably doesn't make sense, but when I was with her, cuddling up in bed watching a film or just absorbing each other's love or what not, I was incredibly happy, in fact, every second I was with her I was incredibly happy. I thought I had been in love before, but boy was I wrong! I've never expierenced anything like this before.Now, months after she has left me, I have been through 3 different types of anti-depressants, and I have had concelling a few times each week, to help me stop being so depressed, and to help me forget about my ex fiance.Only I have one slight problem, nothing is working! I am still madly in love with her, and I don't even get to talk to her anymore, or see her, or ANYTHING!! All this professional help, and no achievement what so ever.I've tried being with other females, but all I do is end up crying and then telling them how much I miss my ex. I don't have many friends either, and don't drink, so I find it hard to socialize. I have never had much self confidence, and this destroyed what I had left. I struggle to leave the house everyday, and when I finally do to get to work, I struggle to leave work to come home to loneliness.Every second of the day I think of my ex, I cuddle my pillow every night. I pray for her each morning, I send her text messages to tell her I'm thinking of her. I can't let go. No matter what I've tried, no matter what I've taken, no matter who I've spoken to, I can't let go.This woman means more than anything to me. There was something I read somewhere which was "You know you're in love, when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world". And it's true, I see her eyes everywhere.I don't want to feel like this anymore! Is there any other way to let go?Thanks for reading, and replying if you do.Very sad lonely guy. :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): hey you are suffering from a broken heart like me. I just dont know wat to i love my ex boyfriend more than anything in this hold world. I told him i wanna be wit him but he does not wanna hear any of it... all i can say is take it day by day one day it might start to slowly fade away. good like
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): Sounds like you are a sensitive person who was the victim of a self indulgent ignorant woman. Have a look at "heartlessbitch.com" and see if you can recognise any of your ex's behaviours. I guarantee they will be there.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): what u need is to find something to occupy your mind outside of work. for example experiencing a new hoobie or a hidden talent that you dident knw u had.myself i dont have much self conferdents but exercising and using the talents i have help allot.even if u go for a walk once in a while it clears your mind and makes u feel so much more posstive. for more advice telophone 07929447161 e mockford
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female
reader, Delila +, writes (31 August 2005):
You will never forget this girl so please give up trying. Imagine making a permanent place for her in your heart, fill it with all of her favourite things and all the things that remind you of her. Allow that place to be there forever and ever. Know that it will. You can visit whenever you like and have a cry or even smile as you remember the good times you spent together. No matter what happens in your life know that she'll always have that place in your heart. She has given you the gift of true undying love in all its pain and passion. Thank her for this!
Delila
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2005): My Goodness, your problem brought tears to my eyes, it could be me all over again. I went throught the same thing earlier this year, my boyfriend of 6 years left me and is now with someone else. The pain was so deep it was physical, I lost a stone on weight and couldnt sleep or eat, I withdrew completely and didnt want to see any of my friends or family and sunk deeper and deeper into depression. Slowly I started going out occasionally again although it was painful, I saw him everywhere. All I can say is let yourself grieve for this lost love, you will need this period to come to terms with it.There is no magic remedy, a broken heart takes a long long time to mend but ine thing I will say that time is a great healer and very slowly you will start to feel better and build your confidence. Keep seeing the counseller, you may not think it is working but eventually it will come together and do yourself the biggest favour, dont keep contact with her. I kept contact with my ex because I thought there was still a chance and just I was starting to feel better he told me he had found someone else which sent me spiralling back down to despair.I am heart sorry for you, I know exactly how you feel, I and many others have been there, you are not alone.I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that in time you can see light at the end of the tunnel
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (16 August 2005):
 I understand how you feel totally but at some point pining over someone who has moved on is torturing yourself. Go through your periods of grief...cry until you can't cry anymore but when you are done...finish it. You can't sqeeze juice from a piece of dried fruit. If it is meant to be it will be. Let it go and concentrate on you making yourself whole and happy again. Love this person from a distance and enjoy the memories ...but don't hold on for dear life...the rope will wear you out and sap your energy.
Take care of yourself...ana
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2005): You've lost a love and it's agonizing and I am sorry(hugs) for what you are enduring. You are smack in the middle of the grief stages, here. Your pain, your sorrow may be awful, but that is part of the healing process. Acknowledge your feelings about what has happened. Help yourself by surrounding yourself with people who do care, like your wonderful friends and close family. They can such a source of incredible love and support for you. But it's crucial to remind yourself everyday that you are loved...you deserve to be loved and you can go on...you have the strength-you just don't see that yet.
When you start thinking too much about her, snap your fingers to interrupt the thought and go get active. Do what it takes! Go jogging-walking..do something to get your mind off her. Decide that neither of you are at fault and both of you are responsible for this breakup. It takes two. There will be days when you are feel sad, worthless, and foolish. Allow yourself to feel pain but don't wallow in self-pity because that's where the depression hits and drags you into deep, dark despair. Get up and get busy. Keep busy with exercise or projects, job goals. Voulunteer, participate in hobbies and interests that will help you through this. Don't let yourself become bitter. Over time, you will finally believe that it is over and you begin to feel at peace. And only then, can you get your life back. And only then can you be ready to meet new love interests because you're no longer dwelling over your ex.
While attempting to let go and heal, please consider breaking contact with her and avoid hanging around places where you know she will be...or places that remind you of what you shared. You should accept that it's over, stop asking why, realize and accept your emotions, decide to let go of the past by staying away from emotional traps, by learning from your mistakes and by looking forward to the future. What makes breaking up so traumatic? Often, there are many unresolved emotions and unfinished business. If you see her too soon, you risk triggering those unresolved feelings and fantasies, which will prevent you from moving on. However, when you heal totally and the time is right, such reunions can also be a valuable opportunity to work through the unfinished business. Sometimes you'll discover that all of the feelings of unworthiness or rejection that you've been harbouring are overblown. Such realizations allow you to move on to new relationships.
Give yourself plenty of time for the wounds to heal. With distance and a fresh new perspective, any lingering pain may ease, and a new love may emerge. Many of us entertain the fantasy of seeing an ex and having them say, "take me back!" This would restore your feeling that you and your love mattered, but it actually only happens in a few cases so you shouldn't let your hopes skyrocket.
Concentrate on caring for yourself and realize you are are human..you are special and you will find strength and hope to get through this. God bless
Hugs, Irish
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female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (15 August 2005):
Throughout the relationship, you have obviously idolised this girl and made her happiness the object of your entire life. During the time you spent with her, you could temporarily forget your problems, wrapped up in love and adoration for her.
It sounds as though you've grown to depend upon her love, and now she is gone you feel bereft and distraught. Sadly you cannot force another person to love you and stay forever with you. That is why it is so fundamentally important to find true happiness within yourself.
Your obssession with your ex is hindering your recovery and preventing you from progressing with your life. I understand it must be very difficult for you to let go, but for your own sanity it is vital that you try. You are taking steps towards recovery by having counselling, but this is irrelevant if you are unwilling to help yourself. If you continue to isolate yourself from the outside world you will eventually send yourself into a state of desolation, and erode your self confidence.
It is important now that you channel your energies into your own recovery. By thinking constantly about this girl, you are torturing only yourself; she has moved on with her life. Continue with the counselling, and use every possible opportunity to socialise- it doesn't matter that you don't drink, you can still go out with friends and have soft drinks. If you are finding it diffcult to meet new people, there are numerous activities that you can involve yourself in, which in turn will increase your confidence and take your mind off your ex. There are social clubs, voluntary work, evening classes etc which are all useful means by which to meet new people. At first meeting new people may seem a daunting prospect but once you have got over this initial first hurdle it will be far easier.
All the best
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reader, becky05 +, writes (15 August 2005):
Im sorry to hear how you feel. I have also had depression and know what its like.
You have to pull yourself together though. Your relationship with your ex is over. Keep it as a happy memory. You say you dont get out much. You need to go out and get to know more people. Occupy your mind while you are alone instead of moping over your ex.
Continue with your medication and counselling.
You dont want to spend your life crying over what could have been instead of enjoying yourself and being happy.
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