A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If a wife split from her husband (and have a nr 2 year old lil girl) and where seperated ,the wife met a guy just before the split and instantly clicked and relised they where each others ideal person in this world ,soul mate's's blah blah ,and slept togetherwithin a matter ov a good few days the split happens and the girl is seperated and rings the guy late at night to say ,this has happened can you pick me up? and she ends up living with him for 3 months ov pure bliss and heaven on earth! she went bk to the marital home for 3 hours or so every night to bath the little child and put her to bed and then was picked up by the lover when she was asleep in bedthe husband txt the guy a few times in this time to ask "whats going on between you and my wife" and a different one read "you and me need to talk about the girl in question" but the guy ignores the txt's due to the girls influence when he told heron the 4th month the wife ends up moving bk in with the husband after a week break away with a friend to sort her head out on the other side of the country, she tells her lover the reason for moving back in ,is for the daughter because she is showing signs ov noticing mummy is not around when she wakes up in the night and when she wakes up in the morning ect. She also says that there is nothing between her and her husband and that he will mess up and me and you can be together forever. (she still really feels nothing at all to her husband the guy was told)then for the next 3 months has a full blown affair with the guy , full sex ,spend nr enough every single day together while the husband was at work. during this time only about 3 times did bad vibes happen, as though she was not assed, showing affection ,dedication or wot ever.the guy tells her he cannot deal with this no more , you are living back with your husband and i want to spend the rest of my life with you but you cannot do the same or act on it ,so i have to end this relationship ,no contact , you should try and see what happens with the husband and forget about me and live our separate lives .But the next day she txt saying she made a big mistake ,and that you are the only one for me ,just been arguing with the hubby and life is to short for petty arguments all i need is you , your the one that makes me happy. And ,,i feel i av been so stupid 4 letting U go U r the 1 ,ur my 1 in the million.so the guy continues to see this girl till this day ,having fun times, meals, sex ect ,saying she want him and not the husband but at the same time the lover is not convinced ov her dedication to her lovers relationship after saying he want's to try and forget about her and rebuild his life. DUE TO THE SIMPLE FACT SHE IS LIVING WITH HER HUSBAND AND NOT TRYING OR THINKING ABOUT PLANNING TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN WITH HER LOVER------------------------------------------------------So then laddies and gents we have reached the end of my little rant and i pose to you 3 questions , i want you to bare in mind that the two men in this story are very very nice ,genuine guys , the ideal men who can make a girl happy for the rest ov her life (the lover more so than the husband in this story to the girl in question, then again there is two sides to every story)question number 1,,,,,should the lover continue the relationship? ,having sex and feeling the same feelings where the future and the situation is concerned, and put up with the up's and downs ov her not to often vibes of her not being interested ,with the hope she will end up being with him and live together forever ,fairytale romance.question number 2,,,,,The same as above but bare in mind that the lover suspects that the girl has not been very honist in the whole time they have been together , money iregularitys including one lump amount. and has a suspicion about her possibly having another "shag" on the side ,out ov the way some how of her husband and lover who only meet or speak every good few weeks or month.and THE BIG QUESTION! , number 3 ,,,,,,If the lover feels really screwed and messed up from the situation ov everything and everything gets to much and ENOUGH IZ ENOUGH!!!!!would it be wrong for him to txt her husband and say "you where right many months ago ,we should ov talked about your wife, because now she has wrecked my life. the main only intent is to open his eyes and not cause a major conflict so the lover can be with the girl (possibly ,after spilling the beans to the hubby)thanks for reading ,take care all xxx Note from the moderator: In future, tell us which person you are (assuming you are one of the people in this problem). It makes it much easier to read and understand, and it means we aren't beating around the bush in anyway.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): oh dear
you have got urself into a right mess here. luckily for you,you can walk away the other poor guy has a kid to this woman.
I am in the same boat only female and now the g/f is phoning/texting me when he's with me. I have ignored it but now I want out and he won't go away,I thought about contacting the g/f but I told her before and she wouldn't believe me and told me not to phone again!
Play fair tell this woman it over for good and mean it also tell her if she doen't leave you alone phoning/texting you will contact her hubby and ask him to tell her to leave you alone and she can explain her actions to him, that way you are not telling hubby but looking out for yourself and trying to do the decent thing.
last but not least make this a BIG leasson learnt do not get involved with someone who is already involved the lies and secret yes start off exciting but in the cold light of day this is reality and it stinks!!!!!
A
female
reader, Heartly  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 No ! He should not continue the relationship . No he still should not stay in the relationship and Yes talk to the husband and do him a favoir , let him know what he is married to !And for what its worth .... Stay away from this woman !
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