A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Right, so I thought everything was going really really well with this guy, I let my guard down and I fell in love with him. I felt that he felt the same way about me too, he used to say things like that all the time. But recently, he has been practically ignoring me, he won't initiate conversation, and when I do, he'll just use one word answers. I'm not stupid, I assume that he has changed his mind about me. I just don't want to give up on this, because I love him. It's driving me crazy, all I can do is think about him all of the time. I've told myself to leave it alone, and forget about him, but I can't. Any general advice would be fantastic please. Am I doing the right thing by not giving up on him? I am so confused. Please help. Thanks. x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): Guys (and girls) are more attracted to people they think are a challenge. If they know you are soooo into them it can sometimes make thgem less attracted to you. It's best to wait revealing certain feelings until you are in a committed relationship.
As for this guy, it's a safe bet he longer wishes to date you at least for now. Take heart in two things.
#1 You will probably be in "love" with several more guys after him
#2 Things can change quickly. You and him might reconnect down the road
The best thing to do (and the toughest) is to back off completely. Don't call him and don't always be available when he calls. Make him wonder if your out with someone. Don't let him get overconfident that he can treat you poorly and you will just beg for more. Last but not least be prepared to deal with the fact that it might be over.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 I see that you don't mention that you two had a relationship. I assume you fell in love with him, you thought he liked you too, but then you found he isn't responding as you expected.
My advice would be that you should follow your head and keep your distance from him. Maybe he did feel the same way about you, too, but, as you say, it does seem he has changed his mind. Let it be.
Sometimes our hearts are broken because we love a person who doesn't love us back. Sometimes there is hope, but other times, regrettably, no matter how hard we try, that person won't be with us. Because s/he doesnt' want to. It's always difficult to accept it so, but it's all you can do.
Stay away from him without saying anything. If he has indeed changed his mind, or if he didn't love you, really, then this guy isn't honest enough to tell you. He wants you to take the hint. This sort of encrypted language does a lot of harm. Just stop seeing him or trying to communicate with him. If he calls you again, or something, tell him how you feel. He will have to respond to it, and you will have the clear answer you need.
I'm sorry that this is happening to you. We've all been there, and we know how deep it hurts.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): hey babe I think u should definatly give up on him! If there is trouble now and he sees that ur in love and will be a "sucker" for him then he will always feel like he has controll in the relationship and he will use that. Best to try to move on and not be so consumed by him.Then u can view the relationship thru clear emotions. and....you will find out truley how he feels about you-if he chases after you then u know and mabe then he will try a bit harder. If he doesn't chase then best u moved on.
good luck
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A
female
reader, deb10  +, writes (6 December 2007):
You need to back off. If he cares about you he will let you know. Being too clingy and desperate will only make a bad situation worse.
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