A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I see my boyfriend every 3 or 4 weeks because he works in a different city. usually just for a weekend.I love him and he's wonderful, but I don't like sex but I love affection,hugs,kisses.We're going on holiday for 2 weeks together and I'm looking forward to the sightseeing and food and relaxing and reading and he keeps dropping hints about how much he's looking forward to the bedroom action and I'm thinking oh no!I have no issues of abuse or anything in the past, I just am this way. What are ways to avoid conflict over this except giving in to him when he wants it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011): As a man I would find that situation very difficult indeed to cope with, for two reasons:First, however much I loved the lady I would find the prospect of a sexless relationship/marriage, potentially for the rest of my life, scary and depressing. A relationship with no physical component is merely friendship, and most people (of both genders) want more than that in a partner.However...neither would I have any wish to have sex with a woman if I knew she didn't want it and was putting up with it just to placate me. In fact, I don't think I could go through with that. Knowing that your partner finds you repulsive and is lying there gritting her teeth counting the seconds until it's over would be just slightly off-putting for all but the coldest and most selfish men.There's no easy solution, but it sounds to me like companionship is what you really want, and you at least owe it to him to be honest and upfront about how you feel.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2011): This is difficult because you can not have an intimate relationship without sex. Because you don't see each other that often this problem has not come to a head. But it will and two weeks together could see you realising that this is a big issue. Maybe you love him but don't fancy him enough. Whatever the reason, you can't expect a man who loves you to happily not want to make love to you.
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (8 December 2011):
 Sex is a major part of a relationship! And it really shouldn't be about "giving in when he wants it". You have to find a way to stimulate your desire. Changing your frame of mind from dreading and avoiding to opening up and welcoming being intimate with your bf. Read this article... could help: http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/lackingsexdrive.htmGood luck xx
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