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female
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anonymous
writes:Is God really wants us to be happy with someone? if its true ,why are there so many people divorcing all the time. It's almost looks like ,that is not really the game,of happiness, but more of the game of misery. Love is so beautiful., but the end makes it very painful, it can even erase all the good things. Like you must move on, whe it ends, so all your 20 years goes to trash.how many of you out there got hurt by love? What was your experience when ended? Did it hurt long? How many times is possible to start again? Can you say again I'm in love? Or the true love feeling fades away,and there is something new comes instead?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): Well religious precept aside, humans are a fickle bunch.
We are at once capable of complete and total destruction and yet paradoxically, we are also capable of intense beauty.
Love has been said to be the riskiest and most dangerous emotion of them all. Because it and it alone can spawn every other emotion, good and bad, that is known to exist.
Love can spawn jealousy, jealousy spawns hate, hate spawns fury and fury spawns revenge and revenge can spawn murder.
But love also spawns happiness and some of the most wonderful feelings a human can have.
In the end all a man can do is weigh up the risks... is Love worth the risk of immense internal pain and hurt? Of hate?
You fall in love and tell me honestly that its not and I will show you a liar and a fool.
But true love is rare, and that alone makes it worth fighting for. And worth all the heartache that false and fading love can bring.
The key to ending that heartache? Forgiveness. Its difficult and painful. But in the end only by forgiving other who hurt you, trully forgiving, can you begin to heal and fade that pain away.
And this the non-religious version (I despise most religions, organised especially).
Flynn 24
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
Where to start? Well by the sounds of your question you need to put the faith back in your heart, So Im going to tell you, Like you I to believe very much in love and always wanted a marriage like my parents have, I have been married three times so you could say Ive lost my spirit at times as ive been divorsed twice and Im still waiting for my third after 5yrs.
In life hunny we can only go along a certain path and if the people we meet on the way are not for us to spend the rest of our lives with then even though hunny it hurts like hell it is gods way of teaching us I believe in ourselves. My first husband was not a horrible man but he was cruel and I belive this to be because of his childhood, I did not want to get divorsed but he was not a very nice father and as my boys grew he was distant and used to hit them and me on occation so after 13yrs I made the decition to leave, And I did grieve. My second husband I was with for about a year before we married he acted the most perfect partner untill our hunnymoon I found myself miles away from home with a woman beater now on hunnymoon its the last thing you expect when there has been no sign before, When we got back I asked for counselling and he did nothing but mentally and abuse me in such a way my confidence hit rock bottom, We were living with my parents and my children and were supposed to be moving but I did not want to move with him after he had shown his true colours for my childrens and my safety, This went on for 6yrs he went from good to bad to me seeking help for him to finally insane, I was also expecting our child in between his treatment which I thought was going to help make him be a better person. Little did I no he was using the system and really was insane and extremely clever. Like you hunny I belive in love so I dont take marriage lightly but he tryed to kill me in the end with a samuri sword and that was something I have had a hard time to deal with as there are a moutain of other things that really hurt and confussed me and made me loose my bubble so to speak, But during all this there was my faith, I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress syndrom and have had a tough time but I belive god gave me the strength so I lean on my faith to support me. My third marriage came along time after that as I was like a scared child for along time as I had been raped beaten tourtured and mentally hurt by the very man who was supposed to love me, So it took awhile to trust my instincts again, Unfortunatly he cheated on me and we had only been married a year by this time Id got alot of my faith back and was a much stronger person so he went straight out the door as I was not prepared for my little girl who thought of this person as a father figure to be hurt as he was not trustworthy and my children come first. Love to me is the very core of life and I never gave up and never will I belive god was trying to teach us that love is all that matters in this world, So even though things sometimes dont make sense our learning experiences do. I have come along way in 25yrs not all great times but ive got love in my heart. A lovely bunch of children who are my best friends and a wonderfull fiance who I truely love with all my heart he has shown me more love than all three of my marriages. Ive never lost my faith even in the darkest times as its that that shows the glimmer of light in those times. I do hope this has helped you hunny never loose the faith that god has in you TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND PEACE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
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reader, eddie  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 I don't think God has anything to do with it. Many people are happy who don't believe in God. There are many people of many religious backgrounds that are happy and unhappy.
Marriage is about compromise and realistic expectations. It is a huge package and if the maintenance is not done properly, it can fall apart.
IF you love someone it will hurt. You can always start again. People find suitable mates all the time. AS for fading love, it changes, more than actually fading. AS we become comfortable with our lives/partners, we re define love. It might fade from one aspect and grow in another. The important thing is to recognize what is happening. It's important to recognize the needs of your partner and to try and satisfy those needs. Love is give and take
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): I have been hurt by love and is still hurts soooooooooo bad! I think because I was niave and it was so unexpected. You think you will be with that person forever and you want so bad to keep the love alive. Then it hits you they no longer love you and you have to move on. You cant move on but you just have too. It really isnt fair! I havent move on as yet but so badly want to. I cant imagine starting another relationship especially with having three small children from the previous relationship. Im still on the journey but Id like to think that you can say you are inlove again.
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